After an exhausting first half of the semester, nothing is more rejuvenating than driving home through the mountains, crying over music. And there is no other band that makes me ugly cry quite like Death Cab for Cutie. When I was twelve, I was accidentally led to this band through other alternative bands I was into at the time and the rest is history. I have since bought/received every single demo, EP, and album they have recorded since 1997. I have also had the privilege of seeing them live in Pittsburgh in 2015, and I cried of course. So on my drive home, for a much needed spring break, I thought of a list of the ultimate Death Cab for Cutie songs that wreck my soul each time I hear them.

Steadier Footing (The Photo Album, 2001)

“I let you bum a smoke, you quit this winter past. I’ve tried twice before but like this, it just will not last.”

The opening song for this album is only a minute and some odd songs long, but it is just enough to already have you in fits. A simple song with only the guitar and voice ringing through space, I have always found this song my go-to when I am at a hard place in life. Sometimes, we need steadier footing in life and it is hard to find. It is okay to be aware and admit to yourself that situations are wrong, and sometimes a good moment lasts for only a second. And when that second is over, come listen to this song to wash yourself in nostalgia and tears.

Passenger Seat (Transatlanticism, 2003)

“When you feel embarrassed then I’ll be your pride. When you need directions then I’ll be the guide. For all time.”

I have written these very lyrics in every single card, book, or photo album I have purchased for my niece since she was born in April of 2012. The year she was born, I was in a funk and the moment she was born, a new phase of my life started. This song, much like Steadier Footing, is simplistic in the musical elements (piano and vocals) and puts me back into my parent’s backseat many moons ago as a child. Nothing makes me cry harder than the happy memories of childhood, and this song conjures those memories amplified.

Different Names for the Same Thing (Plans, 2005)

“Alone on a train aimlessly wander. Outdated map crumpled in my pocket, but I didn't care where I was going. They're all different names for the same place.”

I have always said if I could only listen to one song on repeat for the rest of my life, it would be this song. No other song can make me cry, create an existential crisis, and make me smile simultaneously except this one. I am not sure if I could put this song into words, it is something you have to feel for yourself.

Bixby Canyon Bridge (Narrow Stairs, 2008)

“And the silence; it became so very clear. That you had long ago disappeared. I cursed myself for being surprised, that this didn’t play like it did in my mind.”

I had always enjoyed this song, but I did not fall completely in love with it until I saw them live in 2015. They played this song as their finale, and in the final seconds of the song, the lights were flashing along to the chords of the guitar and I about lost my mind. Sometimes, when I listen to this song, I feel as if I am in another universe. So much dissonance and confusing. No wonder there is tale that songwriter and lead singer, Ben Gibbard, took inspiration from the Beat Generation for this song.

You Are a Tourist (Codes & Keys, 2011)

“And if you feel just like a tourist, in the city you were born, then it’s time to go. And define your destination, there’s so many different places to call home.”

After spending months/years obsessed with the band, this album came out when I was a freshman in high school. I listened to it nonstop for weeks, and nearly drove my mother mad. I laughed with this album, I cried with this album, I grew with this album. This song was the first single released from this album, and at the time in my life, it was the anthem of my teenage angst. I have always been interested in traveling the world and experiencing all that life has to offer, and this song confirmed all of my desires for me. I even have the world map tattooed on my shoulder in honor of this song. It is so upbeat, thoughtful, and amazing.