Ok! Maybe the Supreme Court hasn't exactly decided to take on my proposition (yet). But they should. As a college student and fellow human, I take pizza very seriously. I would go so far as to say I am a pizza connoisseur. I have a hierarchy of my favorite delivery pizza places dependent on the quality of their coupons (Domino's, obviously) and would give myself a gold medal in pizza topping combinations. With my credentials, I take great offense when people say they don't like pineapple on their pizza. So with that, here are 11 reasons why the anti-pineapple people are wrong:
1. There's actual science behind it.
Modern science has proven beyond a doubt that consumption of vitamin B2, one of the many important nutrients found in pineapple, is critical for improving reaction times. The anti-pineapple people will wish they had that extra B2 when I hit them with these facts.
2. It'll make you skinny.
If you paid attention in your biology class, you’ll know that pineapple is part of a class of foods called “fruits,” and it's these very same “fruits” that top doctors recommend as one of your best weapons in the fight against fat. No bro-science here: a 2010 paper by the International Association for the Study of Obesity found that increased fruit consumption was correlated positively with reduced “adiposity.” That’s science-talk for being fat. If you don’t want to eat your way to being skinny, eat pineapple on your pizza.
3. Everyone thinks it's the correct option.
Just look at a Twitter pole I conducted:
The people don't lie.
4. There may be people who disagree.
But they're lame and wrong.*
5. JUST.
6. LOOK.
7. AT.
8. THIS.
Try and tell me you aren't hungry right now. That's right, you can't.
9. Fruit is the best yin to the savory pizza's yang.
Chefs all over the world enjoy mixing fruits into savory dishes: applesauce on latkas, sweet and sour chicken, PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA, etc. I could go on, but I think I've made my point. Pineapple combines sweetness with a little sour zestiness, making it perfect for pizza. Put it on a pizza without any meat, and the cheesiness wraps around the little chunks of pineapple like a wonderful tiki appetizer.
10. Pineapple Pizza has its own fan page.
What do those haters have? Boring pizzas, that's what.
11. Pineapple pizza lovers are better people.
This may not have scientific evidence behind it, but what kind of animal wouldn't want to indulge in the glory that is pineapple pizzas?
And that's all I have to say on the matter.
*Note: These people are my friends and aren't lame, but they are still wrong.
