I'm not going to lie. This past month has been the toughest month of my life so hard. This month has made me doubt myself to the point where I thought I couldn't do anything.
This past month consisted of me crying for hours, unable to move from my bed. This past month had me curled up on the bathroom floor bawling about things that I couldn't control. This past month had me doubting every decision and choice that I had made.
This past month left me worried beyond belief about my health. This past month made me think that I would never be totally okay ever again. This past month made me forget who I am and what I am capable of.
But you know what, this past month made me realize who has my back. I realized the amount of people that are in your life doesn't matter, but the quality of those people is what matters. This past month has left me with the knowledge of all the people in my life that are willing to move mountains for me.
All the times that I was unable to move from my bed, I had amazing friends that I could call who would talk me through my freakouts. My friends refused to let me shut out the world and sink deeper away from everything. My friends made me talk and was there every step of the way.
My two best friends told me to be ready because they were coming to get me and we were going to dinner. They were concerned about me and wanted to make sure that I was doing alright as I could be for that moment. I needed my friends that night and they knew it without me telling them.
One of my best friends stayed with me multiple nights in a row because I was just not myself. I wasn't eating and she made sure I ate, even if that meant making me eat twelve carrots with hummus before I left since I wasn't hungry. (Sorry Leah, I only ate seven).
I had unending support from the three people I look up to the most and I know it probably wasn't easy to deal with me this past month. You all showed me unending support as I was thinking about making a difficult choice that I wasn't sure if it was right for me. No matter what time I texted you or needed to meet up to talk, all of you were always there for me.
To all the other real "grown-ups" that have my back, a huge thank you to all of you. I know there are more of you than I count that have my back and are always advocating for me. I know you have had my back this last month and I'm so thankful for all of you.
This past month was terrible for me and a lot of things happened, but without everything that happened, I wouldn't have realized all the support I have. In all the gloomy things that have happened in the last month, I have been able to find the people who really have my back. Thank you to all of you because I don't know how I would have made it through the last month without you. Thank you for moving mountains for me and believing in me when I didn't believe in myself.
