Harvey Fierstein once said: "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
As the holidays are coming up and all of us college students make plans to go home to spend time with our families that we have not seen in months, the friends we have not seen, and just to get that well deserved month-long break from school I want to take moment to share something with Y'all.
I always knew from a young age that there was something different about me than my other friends. I always knew that there was like this weight laying so heavily on my chest and it was like I was trapped under it and could not move. Growing up I was taught that being gay was a sin and that I would be going to hell if I was. Every single one of these things got inside of my head, and so I buried it so far down in my heart that it would be like trying to reach the ocean floor.
After years of dealing with internalized homophobia, and so many years of self-hatred, years of holidays spent with family members asking when I was gonna have a boyfriend, or if I will be bringing home a boy to spend the holidays with. I then started to realize that there's gotta be more to this life if you just have the courage to be who you are.
I came out to one of my best friends in the entire world for the first time and it will always be one of my favorites stories of us because she already knew (no surprise there). Then it just became this snowball effect, I started to be more comfortable with it even though I was so far in the closet I was in Narnia (yes the one with The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe). I just felt like I still had to hide from so many people, I was out at school and to certain people but with my family and church, I just was not ready yet.
Two years later and I'm ready, I'm ready to say the words in public, "I'm bisexual." And so I did. I had an overwhelming amount of support from my friends, and even people who I did not think would be supportive were. This changed my relationship with some people though, I lost a few who I thought were very important people, but I wound up gaining more, I gained a family one that loves and accepts me for who I am. There is so much more to this story and if you want all the details, feel free to message me.
However, there is a point I am trying to make with the holidays coming up. Some people don't have a family that loves and supports them for who they are, some people are not as lucky as I am. So as this holiday season comes up, and those of you who don't feel comfortable to be yourself around your family, I support you and I will be someone for you to vent to. I get what it's like to feel the pressure to be something or someone you are not.
Happy Holidays everyone, well in this case HOLIGAYS. No, but on a serious note, my wish for you this year is that you all have a wonderful holiday season and that you can be your authentic queen self.
