With a game that turned out to be something of a snoozer, at least if you enjoy offense, the commercials during Super Bowl 50 didn't do their part to save the day. Most of the spots, which cost $166,000 a second, failed to generate much buzz, leaving the ones that hit the mark even more impressionable. Advertiser after advertiser played it cautious by trotting out familiar faces and familiar music to help pitch their products.
Overall, I was disappointed by the commercials in Super Bowl 50 (primarily because Budweiser ditched the puppy). But in case you missed it, here are the best and worst of the ads from the big game.
Heinz, A+
No celebrities. No massive production that looks lifted from an action movie. Just a horde of Dachshunds dressed as hot dogs (wiener dogs, naturally) running in slow motion across a field toward a handful of humans in Heinz condiment suits. This was by the far the best Super Bowl commercial.
Honda, A
Honda Ridgeline uses Queen’s “Somebody to Love” in a concept we’ve seen before (animals talk when people disappear), but it is so perfectly executed you don’t mind.
Death Wish Coffee, A
This spot from a small, “fiercely caffeinated” coffee maker comes courtesy of software company Intuit, which awarded it in a contest. Intuit's money is put to good use: Vikings row bravely across a stormy, coffee-colored sea, which is revealed to be a good sip of Death Wish going into a modern, bearded guy’s mouth.
Bud Light, A-
Seth Rogen and Amy Schumer mock political ads and themselves, a little, as stars of this campaign commercial for the “Bud Light Party.” It’s funny straight through, from Paul Rudd being the thing besides beer that everybody agrees on to a farmer touting emojis.
Doritos, A-
The dad is eating Doritos in the room, because dads are schlubs, and the unborn kid is reaching for the Doritos because, well, future schlub! The ending is pretty funny.
Mini Cooper, B+
One of the game’s best uses of celebrity as a series of unexpected folks, including Serena Williams and Abby Wambach, make the point that the Mini Clubman vehicle needn’t fit into the stereotypes you may have for it. “Defy labels” is the tagline.
Avocados from Mexico, B+
There’s a lot of talking here, but the jokes are funny, and ending on the product (and the guacamole you make from it) does make you want to reach for a chip.
Butterfinger, B
This ad, which keeps escalating the boldness stakes for a guy who wants to eat a Butterfinger, owes a lot to the rhythms of the famous Old Spice ad. But tossing a bull rider out of a plane with his mother chastising him on the way down makes those rhythms its own, at least for a few moments.
Acura, B
Acura nimbly employs the whoops and hollers of the David Lee Roth solo vocal track from “Running with the Devil,” long a YouTube favorite, to convey excitement about its new vehicle.
Hyundai, B
A cliched daddy-daughter dating scenario featuring Kevin Hart, will teach you that Kevin Hart commercials are a lot like Kevin Hart movies: You can almost feel yourself start to smile every now and then.
Anheuser-Busch, B-
Anheuser-Busch’s anti-drunk driving screed is a little gloomy, but is still a positive message even when delivered by Helen Mirren.
Budweiser, B-
This is the only place you’ll see the company’s Clydesdales this year, in a second straight Super Bowl ad going after craft beers and imports. “Not a Hobby,” “Not a Fruit Cup” and “Not Sipped” say some of the on-screen graphics, although the unfortunate suggestion is that Bud is better used for spraying around the room than drinking.
Skittles, B-
This ad manages to be all about the candy as rocker Steven Tyler is shown a portrait of himself made out of the colorful little fruit drops. Beware of those “Dream On” high notes, candy Steven Tyler.
Snickers, C+
Snickers suggests that cranky Marilyn Monroe (played by Willem Dafoe, in a dress, above a subway grate) just needs a bite of candy to be restored to her sweet self. On paper this ought to work, but on screen it plays a little stale, like peanuts trapped too long inside chocolate.
Mountain Dew, C+
This one tries too hard, sort of like an established consumer products company overindulging in contemporary language conventions.
Buick, C+
There are two major things going on here. A bridesmaid played by supermodel Emily Ratajkowski “Odells” the bouquet toss, making a leaping catch a la NFL receiver Odell Beckham Jr., who is also on hand. Wedding goers also admire the new Buick convertible. So: quite a wedding, even if the two things don't have much to do with one another.
Coca-Cola, C
I thought Hulk was going to turn back into Dr. Bruce Banner, or maybe Marilyn Monroe, after he tasted the mini-Coke at the end of the ad’s chase scene. It didn’t even get that interesting. Big soda pours another $5 million, the reported cost of a 30-second ad this year, down the drain.
Pokemon, C-
When at the end the Pokemon characters come in, cartoons on a playing field, you think about, oh, the unreality of Quidditch and how decks of playing cards stuffed into middle-schoolers’ backpacks don’t seem as exciting as the ad suggests.