I know you missed it. After witnessing Mountain Dew’s odd creation known as “Puppy Monkey Baby,” you thought, “that’s it, I need a break” and you headed over to the dorm kitchen to nab a few more of your roommate’s nachos. When you got back, your friends said the only ad you missed was this weird little pink squishy intestine running out of a football stadium because it needed to go to the bathroom. “Bruh,” said that guy who brought the hot wings, “it was SO gross. Stomach problems are for, like, old people. Ew.”
At least, that’s who I was surrounded by. I was watching the Super Bowl in a dining hall full of dudes, all looking absolutely disgusted by the idea that someone could have diarrhea, much less that they would advertise something that nasty during Super Bowl 50. Come on, man! All these commercials are supposed to be Oscar-worthy short films about Doritos or Nike! Who wants to think about poop at a time like this?
Well folks, I’ll tell you who. Me, that’s who. As the snickering laughter and disgusted groans got louder throughout the ad, I shrunk deeper and deeper into my chair, hiding behind my plate of wings. “I gotcha, little intestine!” I thought to myself. “I know how ya feel, little buddy!” You see, that adorable little computer-animated intestine was the star of a commercial for Xifaxan, a medication that treats IBS. What does that stand for, you ask? You think you’ve heard your grandma mention it before? It stands for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and your grandma has probably mentioned it because it usually affects senior citizens.
And me. I have it.
I know, I know, you think it’s gross. It is. It’s incredibly painful, awkward, and embarrassing, too. IBS-D is a type of anxiety that manifests itself as digestive issues. You know how when you get stressed out before a midterm or a swim meet, you grind your teeth or you get excessively sweaty? Well, instead of doing that, I have to go to the bathroom. It has made me so sick that I had to leave high school in an ambulance in 11th grade, and I lost 15 pounds during college applications in 12th grade because I physically could not eat. Every time I tried, I literally got sick.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to feel bad for me. I’m telling you this grotesque and humiliating story because I want to make it less humiliating for anyone else out there like me. If watching that little intestine take Xifaxan and feel better made YOU feel better, I’m here to tell you you’re not alone. We all have our own unique ways of handling stress, and it’s time we start accepting them instead of being embarrassed by them. We need to stop stigmatizing anxiety and it’s manifestations, because chances are, everyone has their own slightly odd response to stress – even the bros who couldn’t bear to watch the commercial about diarrhea. Bros, I’m not out to get you – I’m here for you. Maybe you’re embarrassed because when you get stressed out, your left knee starts trembling or you get really twitchy. That’s awesome! You own that twitch! That’s part of what makes you you. Even better, if we can be honest and open about our own anxiety symptoms, we’ll be less embarrassed by them, and we’ll be less stressed out than we were to begin with.
So, thanks to that adorable little puffy pink intestine in Super Bowl 50’s most disgusting ad, you all know way too much about me now. Hopefully, now you also feel a bit less embarrassed about your own quirks, and a little bit more open to talking about them. Maybe now you and that cute girl in lab can bond over the fact that you both bite your nails to the nub during midterms. Who knew your humiliating habits could become pickup lines?
