Sunshine, Rainbows, and __________

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe…” Philippians 2:14-15

Complaining is all too easy, and no one is immune to it. Complaining is a common response to something that doesn’t go the way we planned, and this often goes hand-in-hand with blaming others. For example, the person driving hits the brakes, your phone slides off your leg and you blame the driver for his/her unskillful hand-foot coordination; we’ll find something to complain about. While watching a message the other day about complaining, I thought, "I do not see how this is going to affect me at all." I thought the message was not really for me. God knows what He’s doing, people. The message was for me.

You may actually be complaining this very minute. Maybe you’re thinking, "Okay, Cassie, where are you going with this? I thought we were talking about sunshine and rainbows?" My answer to you is that we are, but before we get there, we need to recognize the problem. The problem is the blank in the title. You may have not stepped into the article if the title was labeled "Complaining!" That’s not a very appealing topic, but maybe, just maybe, you need this article as much as me.

Research shows some really interesting stuff on this subject. According to Daily Mail.com, the average adult complains 1,300 times each year—eight minutes and forty-five seconds a day, totaling fifty three hours each year. Another website, Actforlibraries.org, says an average person complains about fifteen to thirty times daily. What do you think about this? Is this accurate to how often you complain?

This site also lists five main reasons why people complain, and I’m curious what the readers’ take on this is:

1. To start a conversation (“Gee, it’s so hot out!”)
2. To avoid taking action by slacking on responsibility (“I’ll never be smart enough to pass this class — I give”)
3. To brag about their superiority (“Ah, look at these idiots! Can’t they see I’m trying to be a good citizen and go the speed limit?” We say these things as if we got it down, we know the city, and we’re gooood)
4. To control others (“You’re going to choose her over me? Think about it…she wouldn’t stand a chance”)
5. Self-justification (“I realize I’m late, but every outfit I tried was not working").

What do you complain about the most? Is there a certain thing, or do you think you complain at just about anything? I think complaining becomes such second nature that we don’t even realize we’re doing it or how bad it can be. When I listened to Joyce Meyer speak, God began to open up my eyes on how much I complain. A lot! Sometimes, it’s the littlest things! For example, my mom and I are on our way to the city and as my mom is driving to pass another car, that car speeds up, and my mom gets back over in the right lane. She said something about them doing that and I automatically thought, "Yeah, it bothers me when people do that!" I’m pretty sure I’ve done that before too because I realized I wasn’t going as fast as the speed limit said I could go (I have a slight issue with people passing me).

Yesterday I complained about us going up to the city for a second day in a row (being today) and how early it was. However, with it being early, I will be able to go to the birthday party I promised I would attend. Not only this, but the therapist I’m going to see had a knee replacement and is out on injury leave. He’s coming in the clinic to see two people today, one of them being me. My mom mentioned yesterday that I complain when I don’t get in to quick appointments, and now I’m complaining when I do. I was not thrilled about agreeing with her true statement.

Do you ever point out the flaws in other people? I do it and because I’ve done it so much to someone before, I began to think more negatively about them then I do positive, and I’m still struggling with it. If we want rotten attitudes with a load of sass and negativity, go no further than to pin point the bad things in a person. So, how do we stop this habit of complaining?

The Bible shows us that instead of complaining, we should be being thankful. “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” This may sound like a peppy, easier-said-than-done statement and you would be right. Being thankful is a positive thing; being positive is attractive and contagious, and unfortunately, it often takes work.

Ephesians 4:29 says: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Thoughts are important too. Though we may think there’s no harm to just complain in our heads, damage can still be done. A version of Jeremiah 29:11 says: “’For I know the thoughts I think toward you,’ saith the Lord, ‘thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.’”

We can choose to see the beauty God has given people. If you’re God’s child, He sees the best in us.

2 Corinthians 6:17-18 says “’I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,’ says the Lord Almighty.”

Because God is perfect, He can cleanse us and because He wanted to, He did. "Clean" by Natalie Grant is on the radio now, and I believe God wants us to know He made us clean. "We are washed in the blood of His sacrifice." He doesn’t see the dirt in our lives; He sees what He restored.

Hang out with people who are constantly negative and there’s a good possibility the attitude will rub off. Hang out with people who are constantly thankful and we’ll think more positive too. People are pros at blending in with their surroundings. When we are around people who say something negative, we can refract that like the bending of light—change the direction. Say something positive. Make the most of the moment and run with it. It takes a conscious effort to not complain and replace it with thankfulness. Remember that the next time you stub your toe.