Every Sunday night I find myself in the same position. The overwhelming mixture of sadness, annoyance, laziness, excitement, and motivation that seems to be on an endless loop. I feel like I'm always in a funk until my alarm goes off at 8 a.m. Monday morning, then it's back to reality. In order for myself to understand my emotions, I'm going to attempt to break it down.
It usually starts around 5 p.m. after my boyfriend leaves my apartment to begin his two hour journey back home. Distance is never fun, but the two nights we get together are definitely not taken for granted. Obviously with him leaving comes the sadness. He's my person and I enjoy being with him. Its annoying having to really plan out when we can see each other next, instead of him living right around the corner like we do when I'm home from college.
Moving on, he's not the only reason why Sunday's are the worst. An incredible amount of laziness, excitement, and motivation take over my mind. This is a wild variety of emotions and here's why:
Lazy-
because I've been lying around all weekend so why would I want to stop? Also, thinking about all of the schoolwork I've pushed off until last minute is 100% overwhelming, and I do it every time. However, I start thinking about how I only have one class on Monday's and suddenly I'm...
Excited-
because it's a new week that I can rush through so I can see my boyfriend again. Just kidding...kind of. It's a new week so I can better myself and recover from the last. I can work harder, eat healthier, and go to the gym everyday. Which leads to being...
Motivated-
I get so excited about a new week that I become an OCD freak. I fill out my planner, calendars, write out what I'm doing each day and at what time, set my alarms, pick out my outfits, do my laundry, finish all of my homework, clean the kitchen, take out the trash, take out the recycling, clean my bathroom. And then I finish all of that by 9 p.m. so here comes....
Sadness...
The feeling of wanting to buy some donuts or ice cream, take a hot shower, then crawl into bed and endlessly scroll through social media until I'm crying for no reason at all are the only tasks I want to complete.
This is all an endless cycle of hormonal craziness. It seems to be my every Sunday night routine.