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Summer Series: Validation, We all Want it

Validation that someone else likes us feels good but sometimes do we lie to ourselves to create his perfect fantasy that we want?

Miranda Blodgett

Jul 26, 2018

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/149463281360452196/

Welcome to Week 2: Validation and Truth versus the Bullshit Guys tell us

Guys can sweet talk very well to get what they want. I know this from experience.

"Hey Beautiful", "Hey Cutie", "Your the only one for me", "I only want you"

I have to wonder sometimes though if I'm just as much at fault for believing it and going along with the bullshit they sometimes send our way. Girls do we just find everything okay that guys do because they compliment us, send us that good morning text, and snapchat us throughout the day.

Trying to navigate the dating world whether it is from Tinder or meeting out at a bar you try and get a vibe for the guy. All of this leads me to a simple question that has been on my mind all summer, do we create guys in our minds to be what we want them to be or do we except them at face value or are they honest in who they are but we don't listen or believe it?

Creating guys, the perfect guy, in our minds seem to be a really common idea most girls experience.

We want this perfect fairy tale. To me, when you have this vision of the way things are supposed to be you almost have tunnel vision, to the end goal of a relationship seeing past red flags. Red flags early on in a relationship are never okay.

When he mixes up your text with someone else, doesn't respond for hours, or leaves you on read it seems kind of sketchy.

Every girl thinks they can be the one to change the past ways of this new potential guy. I mean maybe you could be but let's be honest he's probably stuck in his ways. If he's allergic to commitment and says he's gonna change for you please don't believe him. If he says your different, please don't believe him. He probably said the same thing to the last girl to get her to go home with him or to get her to come over.

If your one of the other girls who accept what guys are at face value I hope to be you one day. I always see the good and the potential hoping for better but ultimately being let down. Some guys are completely honest with who they are. They tell you they don't want anything serious, that they suck, that they are douche bags.

With the honesty comes the ability for you to know exactly what you would be getting out of the situation.

What if they are honest with you but you just don't believe it. You again find yourself creating them to be something that they aren't. What about the one guy who says don't let the one bad guys ruin it for the potentially one good guy. You find yourself having to pick through the bullshit and lies to find the truth. This makes it hard to find the good guys. It makes you feel like you don't want to give anyone a chance.

So, it makes me wonder if guys ever experience the same thing in which in their minds they try and make us be their ideal girl.

The girl that they have the ability to change to make there dream girl. I think this summer has taught me that they probably do. Guys seem to need validation like us and have the tendency to overthink even if they don't say it but keep it in their heads. They want to know girls are telling them the truth and have the best intentions in the situation as well.

Be guarded with your feelings and really get to know someone before you jump into anything. This has helped to ease the tension of truth versus the bullshit. It's hard when you just want to trust easily but gotta let things play out and see where life takes you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Summer Series: Validation, We all Want it

Validation that someone else likes us feels good but sometimes do we lie to ourselves to create his perfect fantasy that we want?

Welcome to Week 2: Validation and Truth versus the Bullshit Guys tell us

Subscribe to our Newsletter

The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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