I remember sitting in the closet of my bedroom, covered in a fuzzy zebra-print blanket whispering into the curved edges of my phone at 3 o'clock in the morning. What I was doing there, at an odd hour, is quite possibly the first question that comes to mind. But this of course made sense to me, a 15-year-old girl, hoping to not be heard by my parents sleeping in the bedroom next door.
It would seem that as a girl of that age, I was speaking softly to a boyfriend, thriving off of the lovely notion of late-night vulnerabilities of a young, high-school love affair. But as a matter of fact, this was not the case.
On the other end of the call, I listened to heavy breathing turn into sobs of despair. Listening to the waves of my dear friend’s voice, weakening as each second passed. I, myself, shaken by the reality of the situation I was in; entangled in a frightening position, begging and pleading for the aura in the air to be far away from the fine line between life and death.
I sat in the closet, the ache in my chest swelling with every moment, as I persistently requested my friend to keep fighting and believe my wavering voice. I tried to convince her that everything would get better.
Years later, I am 18 years old, my dear old friend is safe from the agony and misery that encompassed every aspect of her being, while we both struggled through the turmoil that we left behind in high school. But as I find myself in today’s world, I come face to face with an issue that undoubtedly catches my attention, in a way that is not only terrifying, but repulsive in its nature.
I have come to terms with a lot of pressing controversies that scrape at the effects of teenagers. I have been angered, disappointed and deeply saddened by many problems that I find are extensive and frequent within our society. But I must say, the one that touches me in the most heartbreaking manner is, the glamorization of suicide and self-harm.
It has occurred to me over the past few years that the topic and/or mention of suicide does not get treated with the utmost sensitivity it deserves. But rather, it has become a term that has been increasingly more common in everyday conversation, as an act that is not as severe as it truly is. Not only is suicide viewed with a less sensitive mood, but has become decorated, such that it has become a tool for preadolescents and adolescents alike, to utilize when being presented with unpleasant situations and circumstances.
The sad truth of the way the topic, in general, functions in our society, particularly amongst youth and young adults, is that suicide is brought into normal, typical arguments and/or positions as a feasible and realistic means of solving problems.
As an individual who has literally and legitimately dealt with near-suicidal situations with friends, that are near and dear to me, it is deeply disheartening to see a culture that contains many references to such a tragic, terrifying action.
I have heard throughout high school, and in many conversations I carry on with peers and acquaintances today, the phrase “Kill yourself.” It is indisputably one of the most terrifying and hurtful phrases that I have come across. Yet, it is astounding to me that not only is this a phrase commonly used, but it's a popular phrase inserted into casual, daily conversation.
I believe there is a misconception of the general population believing words and phrases should not be taken literally. But people continuously and consistently fail to acknowledge and recognize the power and dangers that are attached to certain phrases, particularly ones related to suicide. On one hand, there is a driving culture that embraces suicide and words of its association as applicable to situations that are not extenuating. This perpetuating idea that it is acceptable to speak of self-harm is insensitive and quite possibly triggering to many people.
On the other end, suicide is advertised in many forms and facets as a means of obtaining the utmost attention and care from others. Unfortunately, this glamorization of suicide reaches the most vulnerable demographics, primarily affecting prepubescents and the actions they take in order to cope with their issues and/or needs. This is not only problematic in that it legitimately functions as a tool used by many as a cry for help, but it weakens the seriousness and validity with which legitimate suicidal attempts are handled.
The sad truth of the whole culture that surrounds suicide is that there is simply a lack of seriousness and gravity with which it is approached. It is upsetting for myself to witness and observe such a severe topic often times depicted with a carelessness, but it should not matter whether the people who surround us have experienced the issue firsthand or not. It should not be a topic of fragility based on the particular audience, but should universally be recognized as a serious issue that has the potential to truly spiral into negative, irreversible realms.
