A couple of weeks ago, I released an article on one of my friends being a Sugar Baby. I left a lot of loose ends, and I thought what better way to explain this lifestyle than by talking to the source herself. I’m so used to her lifestyle that I never thought to really go into details about everything. It was also a matter of privacy, of course.

I asked her a few questions to clear up any confusion about her lifestyle and why she does what she does. Having friends who are involved in “abnormal” activities really helps me. It allows me to see situations from different perspectives. Without this friend, if I had ever heard of someone who did this, I would judge. I’m glad I have people in unique situations in my life, who are willing to share their backstory with me.

This isn’t a matter of judging someone for being a Sugar Baby, this is more about questioning people. Before judging anyone else, the most important thing to ask yourself is “Why”, because that question allows for an explanation. Why are they doing this? Why do they feel compelled to do this? Answering this “why” questions leads to understanding, and not judgment.

I try to make myself as judgment-free as I possibly can, and hopefully, others make the change as well. Anyways, let’s get started, shall we?

How did you hear about being a sugar baby? What compelled you to join this lifestyle?

I heard about being a sugar baby through. well, you. That one rainy Sunday at the diner, the second time we ever hung out. It was a joke but it was always something that was in the back of my mind.
Then a couple of months later when I started facing financial troubles I knew I needed fast money and no matter how many hours I worked, it would not cover all my expenses. After doing a couple of hours of research on the topic, I went ahead and made myself an account on the infamous site. It’s all just been an adventure since.

What does the profile of an average sugar daddy look like? An average sugar baby?

The profile of an average sugar daddy will have a picture sometimes--their age, height, body type, net worth, and brief description of who they are and of what they are looking for. A sugar baby's profile is the same minus the net worth.

Do you Communicate with other Sugar Babies? Are they strictly female?

Well, one thing that really compelled me to do this lifestyle is after I followed these sugar baby (SB) bloggers. It’s something very scary and nerve wracking to get into but they showed me that this is a real thing and if the right precautions are taken you can make a lot of money off this lifestyle. So, I followed in their steps with their guidance, following their rules. I would have no idea what to do if it were not for them and their advice. There have been girls who have been doing this for years so they really do know what they are doing. I don’t communicate directly with them but we share social media SB accounts and we share all our experiences. A lot of them are sipping on the finest champagne in their sugar daddy’s private jets en route to Paris while some are just happy that their SB’s paid their college tuition. I have yet to come across any LGBT sugar babies, but I have heard that it is a popular scene.

How do you draw a line between you and your clients to respect your boundaries?

You should know what you want and they must know what they want. That line must be clear cut before you even meet the person essentially. That’s how you keep them from overstepping boundaries. Open communication is also very crucial when it comes to arrangements between a sugar daddy and a sugar baby. The expectations of both need to be discussed so everyone is on the same page. If this is not done, boundaries will be overstepped without the other person realizing it and essentially the arrangement won’t go on to be long-term or even may end badly.

Have you ever felt pressured to do something you don’t want to do?

Well, in this line of work pressure is always involved one way or another. Pressure to look a certain way, to act a certain way, pressure to behave in a way that you would not normally, or pressure to do things you would not be comfortable with. The key is to know where you stand and to know exactly what you are willing to do/ comfortable with/ what you are not.
Yes, I have gotten offers from men who are willing to pay 5k if I get into bed with them, but I know that that is not something I am comfortable with doing so I know that even though I am a part of this lifestyle for financial reasons, I will never have sex for money. It’s just a personal preference.
You draw the line by being clear cut. If you must keep repeating yourself, go ahead but never let a man pressure you with money into doing something that you essentially are not comfortable with.

Do you do this locally or do you travel?

I prefer to not do this locally because out of personal experience I have realized that if I do it locally the sugar daddy (SD) would want to see me for more times than I would be willing, while if an SD is far away he would have to plan the whole trip a week or so in advance so it makes my life easier. Also, the chance of meeting someone who also knows your classmates, professors, co-workers is very high if you do it locally, so that is something I prefer to stay away from altogether.
I have been to a total of 7 other states since I have started this. I turn down 90% of the SD’s that message me. I could have visited all the 50 states if I had agreed to all of them. I also prefer not to travel internationally and I get offered that a lot. It’s just something that I don’t want to do since I am paranoid and have watched too many human trafficking movies.

Has anyone famous reached out to you?

Yes, one famous person who is known for being a notorious playboy and living with a house full of “hot” girls has reached out to me and I said no since that is not at all the scene that I want to go for and there is more of a chance of me being out in the open for people I know to find out.

What would you say your strangest experience as a Sugar Baby has been?

My strangest experience as a sugar baby was when I flew out to LA for 2 nights. It was during finals and I was exhausted. I still went because I needed the money. Him living all the way across the country was no help. I went there and I slept for 80% of the trip because of how exhausted I was. The rest of the trip went by with dining and visiting a museum. The strange part is that I can’t believe someone would be so lonely that they would pay for someone to fly in, have dinner with them, go to a museum with them and then send them home with $1000.00

What does dinner consist of?

Dinners are usually lavish meals. Well, for me they are because of the type of SD’s I seek out. I seek out SD’s who are older and make more money. So, our first meets and recurrent are always in the nicest restaurants/bars. This is also because there is more privacy and intimacy in the upper-end restaurants. Personally, I think if an SD wants to meet you at Friendly’s or some crummy diner, run.

What’s a ridiculous offer you’ve received so far?

I received an offer from a well-known person to be a “live in” baby. Where I would live with a bunch of other girls in his million-dollar house just to vacation with him, keep him company and help him spend his money. I thought that was weird, it’s an actual thing people do and I have gotten a couple of offers to be a live-in baby, I’d never do it.

What was your best experience?

Best experience, I have not even met an SD in person and he literally wants to give me the world. Already sending me money and daily asking me what I want. It’s surreal.

What're the physical and emotional roles of the lifestyle?

Physically I would have to say the traveling, the faking to smile and walking from airport to airport in high heels is exhausting. Emotionally, all of it. A lot of the times I find myself crying on the plane back because this is just something I don’t want to be doing but I can’t stop because making 2 SD trips a month covers all my expenses basically and gives me room to study and do other things. The faking to like them and or be interested in what they say. The agreeing with them although you know that they are full of shit. Basically, putting up a fake personality for them and manipulating them is exhausting. You’re basically lying and giving them some sort of fantasy and getting paid for it.
I once went on a date after we had talked about all the terms. and then at the end of the night, he was trying to get me to go home with him and kept offering me more money. I straight up did not want to go. Not only did he leave pissy but he also did not pay for my hours’ worth of time. I was scared.

Can you have a “normal” relationship while being a sugar baby?

Well, yes, no, and maybe. It depends on so many things. Is your boyfriend OK with it? Are you able to maintain a relationship while having a lifestyle like this? It depends on person to person. But it is not something easy to talk about with your significant other; if he is understanding about it then there is a possibility of it working because essentially the sugar lifestyle is like a job more so than anything. You are getting PAID to talk to these men.

Do you plan on not being a Sugar Baby one day?

Of course, I am not doing this for extra money, I am doing this because I must. I am constantly looking for ways to leave this lifestyle and do something else. I have a lot of aspirations and living an SB life has given me the opportunity to live somewhat of a luxurious life already without even being successful yet. I am more business minded than I have ever been, I have learned a lot from my SD’s. I have a lot of aspirations in life, but once I have tasted the golden spoon I am finding the silver one increasingly appealing. I want to make money but I no longer want private jets and yachts, I want to be happy and successful enough to help others and give back. I no longer crave wealth, I crave success and happiness because I hope that I am never placed in a position where I feel as though I should pay someone 1k to have lunch with me.

I realized my first article glamorized the lifestyle. Is there anything you’d like to say about that?

Yes, it did. And yes, with this lifestyle comes Lamborghini, Ferraris, flying first class, traveling and fine dining. It involves luxurious gifts and spas. But the men, for the most part, are obsessive and controlling. Sometimes they think that just because they have the money aspect of the arrangement, they own you. That part kills. I do this lifestyle to pay my bills and my necessities. Instead of having them buy me Louis Vuitton purses, I have them pay for my tuition and books. Instead of having them take me on exotic trips I have them send me money to pay my rent. This is not something I want to do but something I must do. This is just the best way for me to gain financial stability at this certain point in my life. I hate this lifestyle increasingly every day and I want to move on from it as soon as I can and put it behind me. In a short period, I have experienced the most lavish of things, but they only made me realize the value of the other essential things in life such as love and companionship.