This term has been one of the most draining terms emotionally and physically for me and all of my roommates. We have been constantly sick. I’m talking the common cold, flu, even mono, and on top of that have had emotional breakdowns almost every week.
It’s not necessarily that this term was a lot of work school wise, we just wanted to be good enough and do our best. We had this idea that it’s okay to slack freshman year, so this year we really wanted to step it up. However, we still wanted to have fun. This was our first time ever living all together and we hoped it would make all of our lives easier and more fun. After the three month summer break where we all had the most difficult summer of our lives it made this year feel slightly uncomfortable and awkward for a bit. Just because of the big change from one busy year on our own, to boring ol’ summers that made us feel so unproductive. So when we came back we had high hopes for a good year, but we all feel like they kind of let us down a bit. We are having a great time living together, and we love our classes, but we just feel lonely and unhappy.
Earlier this term I had this sense of loneliness that was so copious and really consumed my thoughts. It was the absolute worst and literally physically painful and there was really no way I could describe it unless someone felt it themselves. One of my roommates started to feel this way too a couple of weeks later, which was, in a way, nice because it made me realize that I am not alone in feeling this sense of loneliness. I did wish that I could help her, but I can not tell exactly what she was feeling, but I could be there for her as much as possible to make sure she doesn’t feel the way I did.
This whole experience made me understand myself as a person better. The reason I feel lonely is because everyone in this time of their lives is just trying to figure life out and what is best for them, they don’t have time to focus on other people. However, I thrive off of other people; especially my friends. When they are happy and comfortable, then I am happy and comfortable. I forget to remember that some people might not work that way, or they support their friends in a different way than I do and I can’t mistake that for them not caring.
I need to work on myself, as does everyone reading this. Don’t worry about other people all of the time. If someone is upset with you for not making them feel as important to you as usual, just remind them that your life is for you and you will always care for them even if you’re off the radar for some time.
Also, stop trying to find what makes you happy and just be. Or just try. If you keep saying you’re depressed and that’s why you can’t be happy, then you are giving into the depression. Stop focusing on it and just live your life. Living life is really the best medicine. If you keep saying you would be happier if you didn’t move away from home, then go back home, take a break from school for awhile. Just do what makes you happy and if you don’t know, keep looking in a positive manner and don’t dwell on the past.
We all suffer from these problems and you can always reach out to a good friend or stranger if you need to as long as you reciprocate the offer.