What makes us human? This question can be answered with many things that constitute our unique humanity. Cognitive abilities, relational tendencies, opposable thumbs. But there is one thing that is so amazingly singular and remarkable about us— our emotion.
Have you ever taken a moment to appreciate how truly spectacular emotional experience is? You can’t see it, you can’t touch it, you can’t even fully describe it. But it’s there, and it’s the way in which we walk through the world. Emotions create a footing for your reality to walk upon; they are the handrail on a long stairway upwards.
They are the only way in which we process the things life throws at us, whether those things be causes for celebration or causes for devastation. But emotions are a blessing, human beyond belief and an indescribable part of a sublime existence that is anything but ordinary.
So, then, I must ask another question: why have we condemned emotion?
It doesn’t make any sense.
Emotionality has been condemned, largely within a greater context of the condemnation of femininity. “Feminine” qualities and people are often looked down upon as weak, incapable, overly fragile or sensitive, etcetera, thus making femininity an insult.
Furthermore, the world places being femininity side by side with expressing emotion, so that both characteristics are reviled and pushed down as experiences that carry less authority in the hierarchy of our society. To be feminine is to be weak. To be emotional is to be weak.
The world could not be more wrong.
Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and The Gifts of Imperfection, to name a few, captures this message again and again, but I’d like to highlight this quote of hers: “Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
Being vulnerable is being real. Being vulnerable is wearing your heart on your sleeve. Being vulnerable is letting yourself feel things that are difficult to feel. I’m not going to sit here and say that feeling things is easy.
Emotions are hard. Emotions tear you up. Emotions can become a beast, blazing through your being, ripping your heart to shreds. But if you don’t let that beast lose, it will stay caged inside your heart and mind for a long time, and that will be much worse in the long run. I’m not a part of the field of psychological studies at all, but I’m pretty sure that kind of suppression is going to do some serious long-term mental damage.
That damage stems from dehumanizing yourself.
We tell ourselves not to think about it, not to cry, not to delve into our darkness, because it’s too much to feel, because we don’t want others to think we can’t handle things, because it’s a lot more simple to live on the surface of life and ourselves than to delve into the vast jungle of humanness that grows within us.
It may seem a lot easier to skate on a thin, breakable layer of ourselves than to hack through our inner jungle with a machete.
But you know what? The emotionality that you push down every time you feel it rising is you. You were designed a certain way, to function as a human being, and disallowing that very process is actually dehumanizing yourself, taking away from your own humanity. And your humanity is a very beautiful thing.
Our hearts are programmed in a unique way to process the things we experience through emotion. What is your day but a movement of experience and coinciding emotion? We step through the world side by side with our hearts. You can’t escape your own heart, it’s within you. So why try?
If we did not feel things, we wouldn’t be human. I’m not sure what we would be. As painful as feelings can be, I’m so grateful that I feel them. My life is colorful because of my emotions, because of the bubbling over of bright yellow joy, the heavy blue of sadness, the angry red of passion, the refreshing green of growth through challenge.
I think we are subject to an emotional epidemic that is afflicting the lives of God knows how many people on this planet because people aren’t letting themselves feel things. It is an epidemic that stems from a suppression of that which makes us, us. I legitimately believe that we are damaging ourselves by obstructing our emotional expression. I'm somewhat scared for what is to come.
We are already numb to the suffering of fellow mankind, already largely unkind to ourselves, already losing our ability to empathize. No good comes from suppressing emotion. What do you think is going to happen to your heart when you stop it from beating the way it is meant to beat?
Open your hands to the Heavens and sing whatever song leaves your lips. Do not hold back. A song of redemption will come in return. But first, you must feel, and you must sing your battle-love song.
