Ah, hooking up. The single-handedly best and worst thing about college.

You know, I really thought I’d give in to college’s hook-up culture. I came into college with the whole “you only live once” mentality, and went all in. But once I discovered how much hooking up sucked (and how much I honestly can’t even deal with it), I deleted some numbers and tried to evaluate why I wasn’t down for it. I’m in college right? I’m young! Why do I suck at this?

Reason #1: I’m A Hopeless Romantic

As soon as I start talking to someone I start to imagine what life would be like if they were permanent. Every girl does it, come on.

Reason #2: It’s Really Awkward

If this is a sober hook-up, you finally see the person. Yay! You small talk for a little, and you don’t know what else to do. Then you just suddenly start making out?

No like really, it's awkward. You barely know the person and now you're all over each other.

Reason #3: You Sadly Start Liking This Person

Studies (on myself) have shown that once you become intimate in any way with someone else, you becoming increasingly interested in said person. It makes sense. You just made out with the person without stopping and saying, “You’re a horrible kisser” so nothing went bad. In fact, the ordeal was fun!

Reason #4: They Disappear

Nine times out of 10, you’re hook-up didn’t stay the night. Nine times out of 10 they go away, and the next day they are never heard from. I’m not great at this part. Once I start getting to know people, I care about them immediately. Especially after that, you know, happened. When they disappear into thin air and have no desire to talk again, it sucks.

Yeah, I’m obviously not the best person to just hook-up with. I suck at it. I’ll look at it this way, I had my fun. Now it’s time to kind pull the brakes on this hook-up thing for a while, and maybe save it for at least someone who sucks less than the normal hook-up crowd.

Also, can we like stop this whole “we’re just talking” thing and figure something else out?