Dedicated to my mom... thanks for putting up with me in my youth.
Love, your off-spring.
1. Hid a boy in my closet when I was fourteen.
Him and I were hanging out at my house one day when I thought my parent's would be gone for awhile. Unfortunately, my step dad came home unexpectedly, and while the guy and I were sitting on the couch in the living room, I noticed my step dad was back. Basically panicking, I pushed the guy off the couch, and bolted us both up the stairs. My first instinct was to hide him in my closet. But alas, I was caught. My step-dad called me down, and looking at me suspiciously he said "You know I'm going to have to tell your mother about this, right?" That's when I had to shamefully retrieve said guy out of my closet and send him on his way home. From there, we weren't allowed to see each other. We talked on the phone secretly at night, after my parents were asleep, and we sent notes to each other through our friends. (This was during my pre-phone/track-fone days. The struggle.) Looking back, it was so silly and not worth it. But, I was fourteen, and this guy was my first major crush.
2. Someone smashed into my car when I was seventeen.
I was too scared to tell my parents so I lied, and my friend and I went to get it fixed secretly by a friend. The dent was still there so I had to park my car on the other side of the street so the dent was hidden. I got away with it for about a month until my mom noticed it.
3. I got my car towed when I was nineteen.
I was visiting my boyfriend at the time here on campus at UW-Whitewater. However, this is when I wasn't a student here. He told me to park my car in an apartment parking lot. Not using my brain, I assumed it would be okay. The next day, my car was GONE. I pretty much had a panic attack, and called all the people I knew (minus my family) if they could help me out. I didn't tell my parents, ever. My friend lent me the money. (I never felt so thankful...)
4. I lied to my mom about going to see a movie with my friend when I was seventeen.
Instead, we skipped, hung out with some "bad influences" in a sketchy part of town and smoked. I was seriously grounded. Might sound lame to a few of you, but I was a really good kid over all, and I hardly got into trouble - so, this was kind of huge for me. My mom was super disappointed, and it didn't help that I was hanging out with the same guy who I hid in my closet 3 years prior. Oh, memories.
5. I cried over a dumb boy who kept breaking my heart when I was fourteen. I thought the world was over.
I was so upset. He was stringing me along, though, and was the ultimate player at the time. Even though I knew he was flirting with other girls, and had girlfriends at certain times, I still wanted him to like me - and I let him lead me on. When I saw him at the Homecoming Dance my freshman year of high school with another girl as his date, I was crushed. I went home and bawled my eyes out. I have multiple songs and poems based on him that I wrote during that time period, circa 2007-2009.
6. I got locked out of my house when I was fifteen years old. (I lost my keys... again)
And instead of calling my parents, I did the stupidest thing: I took a broom that I found in the garage and smashed a window open to get in the house. Yeah, my punishment was brutal. And get this. Right after I smashed the window, my parents came home.
7. Wore heavy black eye liner that made me look like a raccoon when I was thirteen and fourteen.
I also dyed my hair black all the time. I looked incredibly stupid. I went through this long phase where I wanted to be emo, or goth. I looked like a vampire when I dyed my hair black because my skin was too pale for the color, and it just didn't look right. But I didn't care - I wanted to look cool.
8. I dressed . . . weird.
And not a good weird. I wore studded belts around my t-shirts - not actually around my pants loop holes. I also went out in public wearing a towel around my head when I didn't feel like dealing with my hair. Like . . . whaaaaat???? I even remember some of my friends at the time (who were not truly my friends) told me to stop dressing a certain way, or got upset if I did my hair funny and different because they were embarrassed to be seen with me. (Rude, buuuuuut) Now, I kinda see where they're coming from.
9. Speaking of, I wore side-ways pony tails.
It wasn't cute or retro. It was embarrassing. I did it every single day in 8th grade. I don't know what got me into it. Maybe it was all those 80s movies that I was obsessed with during that time. I did watch Pretty In Pink and Sixteen Candles religiously.
10. When I basically thought I was hot sh!t but wasn't AT. ALL.
So when I was in 8th grade, my friends and I came up with secret code words and we referred ourselves as the "Froot Loops" or "The Crazy Froot Loops" . . . yeah, don't ask. One friend of mine was a yellow Froot loop, I was blue Froot loop, another was pink, and you get the picture. We would use our code names when writing notes to each other. I thought it was the coolest thing, but looking back - it's just juvenile and silly. But it's okay, right? 'Cause, we all go through it.
11. I lied about going to parties when I was nineteen. I thought I was bada$$ because my family never found out . . . but they knew. They knew.
So . . . I had my party phase. Yes, it happened when I was nineteen, and straight out of high school. I was dating this guy who was sort of a bad influence on me, and he got me into this soirees. I just always remember stumbling home hungover and my grandparents not finding out where I really was. It happened a lot. But, no. I underestimated them. They knew.
12. I lied about spending the night at my boyfriend's (at the time) house, basically every single weekend. I told them I was at my best friends house . . .
And I almost had a heart attack because my mom almost found out. And my grandparents? Again, they knew.
13. Looking back, the guys I dated were really dumb. I don't know what I saw in them. Now I laugh.
I dated a lot of guys from 2010-2014 . . . they were all very - what's the right way to word this? Eccentric? Weird? Immature? And on the eccentric and weird part, I mean that in a kind of negative way. I knew that I deserved better, but I always, always settled for the guys who weren't right for me. But I guess that's the learning part to all of this. Either way, I twinge when I review my list of guys that I had dated in high school and my first year of college.
14. I basically failed all of my classes my Freshman year of high school.
I wish I could have cared more, and I'm really upset at my lazy, selfish fifteen year old self who should have stopped worrying about dumb boys - and to just worry about loving myself. I wish I cared more about my education, and how much my potential was worth. But then again, most fifteen year olds don't really have that mindset at the time. The things they care about, the things that are the most important to them are friends, boys, and their dreams. School is ironically not really there. Family is just annoying in general, and the things that truly matter, don't seem to mean anything. So . . . I guess I shouldn't be so hard on my fifteen year old self. I just wish I was smarter with my priorities back then. I could have gotten so much further.
Looking back, I've done some silly things as a teenager. I didn't exactly use my brain, think of the consequences, and I didn't use a lot of common sense. (A main "special" trait of mine still to this day. I am a tad ditzy at times, to be honest.) But I guess that's all about growing up, something that you go to - you reflect on these stupid things that were done. I'm certainly glad I'm not a teenager, and I don't yearn for this nostalgic days. I merely just chuckle humbly at the dumb mistakes I made, shake my head and know that I've changed so much. But now I have the twenties to endure, and who knows? I'll probably look back at this time when I'm in my forties, and shake my head and laugh. I think that's the beauty in life.
