At my most arrogant, I find stupidity to be the most unattractive quality in a person. If I’m feeling particularly dapper about myself, I will notice that I’m judging others’ Facebook posts in a belittling manner, or feeling embarrassed to share a class with some of my peers. Aside from pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth, it’s probably my greatest flaw. The truth is, though, I know that deep down, beneath all the fatty layers of pretense, I’m just as stupid as anyone else. Some say that ignorance is bliss, but to me it’s best described as the flush reddening my cheeks when I speak out in the wrong direction. Truth is, blindness can make for a beautiful sight.
I’m not defending the cancerous ignorance of the archetypal bigot we spend half our time on the Internet mocking, or the kind that leads the masses to voting the next [insert historical villain] into office without looking into any of their policies, but rather the bashful kind of stupidity that keeps us humble. Even as a semi-pro self-deprecator, it’s hard to confess that without routine mental lapses to keep my ego in check, I’d probably be rather unbearable (or at least a heck of a lot less tolerable than I already am). They’re speed bumps for when my mind is going 200 mph, and I’m buzzed off the fumes of my own sh*t. It’s an essential part of my diet, and I think everyone could benefit from it, just like even the harshest movie critics should be able to sit down and enjoy "Toxic Avenger" every now and again. Sophistication is a corset we should release ourselves from to get a proper breath of fresh air. (Although, I had to wear a corset to a Pagan wedding back in high school—please, don’t ask—and it wasn’t nearly as strict on my respiratory system as every cliché Victorian-era period-piece had warned.)
So, my mission for readers is to go out and do at least one act of stupidity each day. Take an Internet quiz on a subject you know nothing about. Start a conversation with someone who intimidates you (preferably of the opposite sex). Play a sport you suck at. Listen to a Ke$ha album. (I know I’m not supposed to knock her since she’s got a tragic story, but from what I’ve read, Dr. Luke wrote all those songs, anyways, so it’s fair game.) Wait to check yourself until after wrecking yourself. I’m enlisting you to become an agent of humility, a missionary, spreading humility. Not only is it healthy to feel around and define your own limitations, but it can also just be a lot of fun. I have a lot of my best fun acting dumb, even if I regret it for the rest of my life because it was filmed and posted to YouTube.
Speaking of which, I’m working on a new web series that’s full of stupidity. Hey, you’re stupid, and read this stupid article, so I’ll help you out by posting the video right here. Watching it can be your stupid act of the day. You’re welcome.
