DISCLAIMER: Ok ok ok, let's get one thing straight. IF I ACTUALLY GO THROUGH WITH STUDYING ABROAD IN THE SPRING, I will be eternally grateful and (hopefully) have the time of my natural born life. I just have anxiety about 5 key factors, but honestly, what else is new. So here are just a few things that I keep accidentally thinking about when I imagine myself somewhere in Italy for a full 5 months :-).

1. FOMO.

Otherwise known as “Fear of missing out”. This literally makes me want to rip my skin off on a daily basis. I could be in the bathroom, doing my business, and suddenly I get aggressively sweaty because I think of all the fun things my friends are talking about or doing while I’m peeing at the pace of an elderly snail. So imagine me, across the world for a whole semester, watching my friends go through recruitment without me, AirBand with out me, dages without me, literally even class without. As I type this, my vision is literally blurring because I am FEARFUL THAT I WILL BE CNTRL ALT DELETED out of their lives AH 911 THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

2. A majority of my friends and my big would be graduating that semester.

This is when I become emo for a hot sec. A majority of my friends and my big are Juniors currently, meaning next year they will be seniors and then after that, they will officially be free range chickens. This being said, IF I’m abroad, I will not be spending their last semester at Delaware with them. Time to start blasting Evanescence because I have officially reverted back to my hormonally goth tween self WOOPS.

3. I’d be potentially lonely in a foreign country.

My fear is that I’ll get accepted to go on the trip and, SURPRISE! a whole squad of girls who are BFF’s are also on the trip and they want nothing to do with me because their perfect girl gang does not need yet another girl. So alas, I will be a girl gang of just 1, naked and afraid overseas because I am a lonely duckling just trying to do hoodrat s*%t with my nonexistent friends.

4. I can’t go home for the weekend.

If I start to get overwhelmed or annoyed at school, I usually just sprint back to NJ and hide in my warm home with my mom and tasty food. CHA GRL CAN’T SPRINT OVER AN OCEAN. So I will be stranded, trying to FaceTime my mom and then realizing that she’s asleep because time zones are a thing and it’s most likely 3 am by her. It's fine, I'll probably end up contacting David Hasselhoff out of sheer desperation.

5. Missing my little finding a little.

I know this one is really stupid because it is my little's process and blah blah but this still stresses me out. I have a very strong fear of being irrelevant because I was irrelevant for a majority of high school but that’s for another day *Evanescence begins to play in the background as the repressed memories of freshman year at WHS claw their way up from the grave*.

ANYWAYS, I would want to be present in not only my little's life during this process (because it is v stressful) but I’d also want to meet potential grandchildren. But instead, I will probably arrive back in Delaware the following semester as The Situation post battle with the wall; washed up and questioning his place in the house.