I've done a lot of reading this week on what the bible says about ______. Insert any concern you've ever had there. I've never done that before, but that's what growing in Christianity is about. You learn = you grow. You ignore, and refuse = you lean away from Jesus. How sad.

I have the great privilege (NOT) of having someone in my family who refuses to grow. The only thing this person is growing in is narcissism, sin, and emotional abuse. So, again I've been looking at everything the bible says about staying in a relationship with this person and having those three aspects.

The one thing I keep reading is to first ask God to change you. Maybe you are the problem. Okay, at first I thought, this is silly. Then I sat on it for a few days, and I thought, is it me? Did I do wrong? What could I change? For days I went through every scenario I could think of. How could I change what this person is doing to me? I mean hours were spent on this, and unfortunately, I realized, no matter what I did to improve this persons life, I was going to be brought down and made to feel like dirt all over again.

I. Am. Worth. So. Much. More.

What if this person in my life read that they needed to change, and actually followed through with that? I could only pray that God would work on them like that. So then:

The bible says, “Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man.” And Proverbs 29:22 says, “An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression.”

Well, I've already done that. So now what?

Scripture tells us that marriage should resemble Christ's relationship with his church which is complete LOVE. A wife is called to respond to her husband's biblical leadership, not his ungodly behavior. God never pardons abuse of any kind. Look at the picture below:

You see, emotional abuse violates two of the greatest commandments:

1. Love God

2. Love others as yourself

So by staying in this relationship which makes me hate myself, and hate another, I am not doing any good. I am not being who I need and want to be. I'm also not listening or following the commandments. I never realized by staying with someone who makes me feel so awful about myself, that I would actually be going against God's word. Let that sink in. I bet I am not the only person.

Ask yourself: are you doing the same?