When I was a kid, I never thought I would study Accounting or any subject relating to numbers because I simply was not good at it and was not interested in understanding more about it. But, I knew that I wanted to do something significant for the world.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” (Henry Ford)

Starting a college-life was hard for me because I was confused about what I should study. Basically, I was not confident with most subjects and myself. Then I asked my relatives and advisor for advice what I should try studying. After that, I did not really know and why I decided to study Accounting.

Maybe I started feeling interested in studying this tough major when I took the beginning class. I liked it. My professor, Mr. Ford, who is a CPA (Certified Public Accountant), has become my role model because of his nice character and inspirational teaching style.

Accounting is a foreign language in business world, and an accountant is as a translator to make every transaction become clearer and understandable. It is not something as simple as many people think that accountants only need to record numbers on spreadsheets and functions on Excel will help to calculate. Studying Accounting is a challenge because I think we need to logically store tons of different knowledge in our brains.

Basically, our brains will become some academic dictionaries. This major is not only about transactions and numbers, it also includes the precision and ethic perspectives because we are doing something relating to confidential information of our clients.

I always think if we miss any digits or even some decimal places of a number when recording transactions, it will be serious for the business world because investors will not know whether he/she predicts the future stock prices or evaluates precisely a company because they will mainly depend on its financial statements.

For me, it is also stressed because sometimes I cannot figure out why and where I should fix my problems even though I know there is something wrong with the financial statements. However, if I figure out how to solve those problems and understand them clearly, I will be super happy.

Accounting challenges my limits because when studying it, I need to sacrifice many things. My character changes a little bit because I cannot be easy anymore with everything. Being careful with numbers makes me also be tough to evaluate or judge everything in my life. I become more stressed because I do not easily trust anything or anyone. I also become more ambitious.

I do not mind repeating and calculating the same problem over and over, and I cannot sleep well if I am struggling to immediately answer or understand a problem. I also feel uncomfortable when my friend knows how to do a problem, but I cannot do because I overthink. I become more pragmatic and want everything to be perfect, which ridiculously makes me sometimes think myself suffering OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

I also become more sensitive to numbers, which accidentally creates a higher level of my goal. Basically, my face looks more serious and more stressed. Sometimes I even questioned myself whether my decision was right or wrong.

Instead of giving up, I started seeking out other things which can help to balance my brain and release my stress. Then drawing, painting and writing just came to me as my effective medication. I realize that even though I am not an artist, even though English is not my first language, and even though my major relates to numbers, doing, contemplating or revising those works can make me feel happy.

Numbers train my brain.

Arts train my heart.

Writing trains my soul.

I am trying hard for my bright future every day. Sometimes I questioned myself, “At the end of everything, what do I really need for my life because I always feel lonely? Do I really need power or achievement?” Once when I was talking with my counselor, she told me that maybe I need peace and happiness in my life because I have been through many difficult moments. I cannot create happiness for myself, but when I help people and know that they are happy, I will feel the same.

“Peace is the beauty of life. It is sunshine. It is the smile of a child, the love of a mother, the joy of a father, the togetherness of a family. It is the advancement of man, the victory of a just cause, the triumph of truth.” (Menachem Begin)

It is hard to find the peace inside of a person, and it is even harder to always maintain the peace. I hope one day my life will be closed with happy end.