Something I get called often--almost as often as incredibly quiet--is very nice.

I like being there for my friends through good and bad days. I enjoy getting gifts for people I care about. I smile and greet strangers whenever I can. I make sure to leave a good amount of tip whenever I for food and drinks.

Basically, I try my best to make everyone around me happy.

So yeah, I'm nice.

But sometimes I wonder if I'm too nice, because I'm what you might call a "people-pleaser".

Maybe it's because of my introversion, the notorious passive-aggressiveness of "Asian culture" that I grew up with, or probably a combination of both. But the fact that I'm completely aware that I'm a people-pleaser makes my life a little complicated.

For one thing, I don't like conflict. When I'm faced with other people's problems, I can step in and play peacemaker to try and diffuse the situation. But when it comes to my own problems, I'd rather just put up with it rather than risk the confrontation and make someone upset or feel like I'm being a burden.

This also means that I'm not good at arguing with people. Unless it's with good friends or family, I tend to step down from arguments--even if I know I'm right--because I hate feeling like I'm intentionally egging someone on.

For another, I know that people can take advantage of my people-pleasing personality because it's difficult for me to say "no".

Sometimes I find ways around it, like making good excuses or letting someone down easy, but other times I feel like I can't because again, I don't want to upset or anger anybody.

This doesn't mean that I'm helpless or just can't say no. If it's someone I'm comfortable with, I have no problem saying no. When it comes to strangers or acquaintances though, it makes me feel guilty.

I still carry these tendencies around with me, but I've gotten better at managing them although there's still a lot of room for improvement. Surrounding myself with unapologetic, opinionated people who encourage bluntness and try not to take things to heart gives me something to strive towards.

I'm not giving up on being nice. I'm just working on being nice to myself first.