So being twenty-two years old and living in Chicago IL, my problems are not as severe as one might think. I have food and a place to sleep and a support system in my life. To some, I might as well be living in a palace. There are no wars going on around in my town, and I am free (for the most part) to be who I am. However, I am still facing emotional issues that all human beings face. Issues of trust, and of self.
I am trying to figure out who in my life is actually here for me, and who is not. This may sound like unreasonable concerns, but to me this is everything. The people who you surround yourself with can make or break you. I recently had this talk with a dear friend of mine, and she came to the conclusion that there are some people in this world who just want to see shows. They want others to be their entertainment. They want to see tragedy's happen in others lives because it is something to watch. Of course being the naive person I am I was in shock, but after a few moments, and thinking about past experiences with people. I realized that was the truth.
Those individuals however, are not monsters, they are just humans. We all have the capacity to do that to one another. It will always be something that blows my mind because I think in the opposite direction. I always take the opportunity to make someones day better. I do not give a crap how cheesy that sounds. It genuinely makes me feel better. It does not make me feel better than, it just gives me a warm feeling in my body that I want more of. Sometimes it is difficult to understand how others do not think like that. However it is the truth nonetheless.
So here I am, twenty-two years old and trying to figure my direction out, dealing with people who want to see you crash and burn, and also my own internal struggles. This might sound like a drama, but I truly do believe this is who everyone who has a mind lives through. We all need to figure it out, and paths can be different. This is something no human is excused from. I am not saying you cannot trust anyone and be careful about who you speak too. I am saying to make sure you listen to yourself, and learn to love yourself. You need to do what is best for you, and to not worry about what other think. We will always have an opinion. That is kind of the battle of life sometimes. "Answers" float around all the time, but only you can figure it out. I do think it will all be ok, and the struggle becomes less, and you find people that you really connect with. But for now, I am trying to live through the struggles of being twenty-two.
