I watch all things food-related from cooking shows on Food Network, Fox, and ABC to videos on Facebook. I look at pretty pictures of food on Instagram. I look into websites that deliver recipes and all the needed ingredients to your door. I even have beautiful food photography saved as my computer and phone backgrounds. I eat, breathe, sleep, and dream about beautiful food. I imagine my hands swiftly chopping up vegetables and mixing sauces so elegantly. I think of the faces my family and friends would make as I set down a hearty, colorful plate of food in front of them and then the faces they make as the first bite hits their taste buds. I dream of the endless possibilities I could make with beautiful ingredients. I aspire to be as badass and respected as Gordon Ramsey.

Then I stop dreaming and let reality take over.

I can’t do anything like that. I’m too accident-prone; I’d chop my fingers off. I’m not that creative; my plates would all be one color. I’m too picky. My plates usually consist of meat, seafood, pasta, potatoes of any kind, and very few vegetables. The biggest color variation is yellow or green. Don’t even get me started on salads.

I have often thought of being a chef when I think of my career aspirations. It just wasn’t in the cards for me, I guess. My foodie soul is trapped inside a picky eater body. I don’t eat a rainbow of food. Chefs need to taste their food and adjust it as needed. I watch MasterChef, Hell’s Kitchen, Chopped, and many others. I know how to make gnocchi and lobster. I know how to style my plate different ways to best showcase my food. I know how to do these things, thanks to Food Network. If my taste buds would let me taste new foods and actually like them, then I could do these things. I could be successful in such a tough career. I could run a restaurant of my own that people from all over come to try my food because of the amazing reviews I would get.

I have thought about being a baker. I can do that. I love sweets. I’m willing to test different flavors together and see what works. It doesn’t require you to like and eat vegetables. I can handle that. Baking is more fruit and chocolate. That’s my kind of food. I watch Christina Tosi make delicious desserts on Masterchef and I’m in awe at how beautiful they always are. She always makes baking seem so effortless. Yet anyone who knows anything about baking knows that it’s precision and exact measurements. I guess I can do that. Follow directions laid out before me and hope for the best. Isn’t that how life is supposed to go too?