I'm now a NARP (Non-athletic Regular Person). The struggle is real. Remember those days when you just couldn't wait for practice to end? Or the days where you and your teammates would make McDonalds runs before practice and almost vomit during workouts? At the time, it felt brutal. Being stuck in a humid, sweaty gym, getting wood burns from the floor and bruises in places you didn't even think you could bruise. I never imagined I would miss it as much as I do. Because let me tell you, once you stop playing sportsa lot changes. Here's a little look at what life is really like in the post-sports NARP world.
1. Remember when you were able to eat Dominos at 3 a.m. without gaining anything?
Yeah, those days are over, pal.
2. Running for two minutes at the gym? More like being held in a choke hold while sweating like an animal.
How on Earth did I ever run over a mile
3. Wait, I have to make my own friends now?
When in a sports team, making friends is practically the easiest thing in the world because you're all forced to
4. When you rock a group presentation and you're not sure how to react because it isn't socially acceptable to slap each others butts.
Don't do it, it will just end
5. Did I mention how fun it used to be not thinking about calories whatsoever?
Metabolism please come back, please I beg!
6. Nothing is more satisfying than destroying your rival during a game.
Not even that A on your final paper, yes it's satisfying, but nowhere near as awesome.
7. Missing those fun bus rides where you sang on the top of your lungs and even the quiet kids on the team released their inner Beyonce.
This was more than definitely a safety hazard, but how else are we supposed to get hyped for the game?
8. Your stamina for anything and everything went from 100 to zero real quick.
"Can you pass me the remote?" "No." "But it's right next to you."
9. Two words. Pasta party.
The glorious night where you can eat as many carbs as you want with no remorse or judgment. Why can't we do this before finals?
10. But really the biggest struggle is that nothing can or will compare to those friendships you formed while being tortured at practice, getting yelled at by coaches, spending every day together and, of course, celebrating a win or crying over a loss.
Only a few people endured in the same exact pain and joy as you, don't forget. It is a forever kind of bond.