"So, do you play any sports?" someone asks me.
"No, but I used to," I say.
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"Do you have any hobbies?"
"Not really."
"Do you do anything at all?"
"Does Netflix count?"
The amount of times I have had this conversation with people, throughout all age groups, would astound you. I must say, I've gotten pretty good at having this conversation. When people ask the sports question, I'll mention how I've tried lots of sports, but I was never really that good -- or graceful. Soccer, gymnastics, dance, basketball, tennis, and swimming are all sports I attempted to pick up, some of which I stuck to longer than others, but I felt no reason to stay if I was never even close to proficient at what I did.
As for hobbies, I've tried a lot of things that I thought might spark an interest in me or might even unveil a talent of mine. Yet again, all of these were failures. These attempted activities included: scrapbooking, singing, acting, comedy, cosmetology, writing, drawing, painting, woodworking, baking, filmmaking, and many more hobbies that were given a fair amount of effort but not quite good enough to make a life out of. Not to mention that being average looking and being an average student has contributed to my relatively anticlimactic life.
Although I have never been superior at anything I have sought out, I've come to terms with being average. It should be known that I'm not trying to be all pathetic or sound lazy, and I'm not fishing for any compliments here either. It's just a simple fact that there aren't many activities I am worthy of pursuing as a career, or even as a job on the side. Maybe I just haven't really found a passion for anything yet -- and that's okay. I should not be desperately looking for something that can be valued in me.
In addition, I must say that it's quite stressful being in college where everyone knows what they want to major in and what career they want to work towards. I, on the other hand, have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. Still, isn't college a place to figure out what you want to do?? I shouldn't feel pressured to have it all figured out or know exactly what I'm good at. Despite all that, I've been patiently waiting to stumbleupon something I love doing that I happen to also be pretty great at. I should just let life run its course and recognize an exceptional quality about myself when it comes up.
So if you're like me, and you're wandering aimlessly trying to "find yourself", just know that it might take you a long time, or even your whole life, to truly discover what you love to do and realize that you're skilled at it. Don't fret, that is the case for a lot of people. I know many times I have felt as though I was standing alone, confused and anxious, in a dark empty room hoping that a sign would pop out in front of my face telling me what interest I should pursue. It may take some hard work to figure it all out, but once you find it you'll know. I understand that this might have not been the best advice since I'm trying to put my own life together still. I suppose it's just another thing I'm average at. Plus, I'm still working on getting this writing thing down. Nonetheless, if you need another sad excuse for inspiration, I'll be here continuing my investigation to uncover my best qualities. We can struggle together.
Just remember to stay true to yourself, but give new things a chance. Everyone is trying to figure out this world and themselves. Venture out to realize your greatest potential while still living in the moment.
