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Struggles Only The Most Awkward People Understand

"WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS?!"

Shelby Hunter

Oct 11, 2016

Northwest Missouri State University

Struggles Only The Most Awkward People Understand

TLC

I'm naturally an introvert that longs to be an extrovert - which ends up making things pretty awkward.

And awkwardness comes with a lot of challenges...

Classes

Don't arrive too early, or too late. Don't sit too close or too far. Avoid eye contact with professor. Try to remember my own name. Don't be weird. Don't be weird. Please just go 50 minutes without being weird.

Hugs

Oh god no, please do not hug me. I'll do it if I have to but I don't really know what to do with my hands... and I'm extremely uncomfortable.

Cuddling

Are there instructions for this?

Seeing people from my past

Friend I haven't seen in years: "Hey Shelby!"

Me: "I'm good thanks!"

Oops, wrong answer.

Family reunions

Please tell me these are weird for everyone.

Introductions

New person: Hey I'm Sarah.

Me: I have a cat.

Shaking hands

Why is this a thing? It's weird. How hard do I squeeze? Is there a perfect amount of time? How long as it been since this person has washed their hands? I'm painfully uncomfortable every single time that this has to happen.

Compliments & gifts

Yep. Just another awkward moment. Don't expect me to look at you or say anything.

Checking out at a store

Do I look the cashier in the eyes? How long? No talking? Small talk? Oh no I can't get my money into my wallet fast enough! I'm gonna pass out.

Eye contact

What's the correct ratio of eye contact to no eye contact? How often do I look into someone's eyes? Yeah I probably shouldn't have held eye contact with that stranger for so long.

Pictures

Am I squinting? Do I force my eyes open? I can't smile. My face is twitching. Oh god what do I do with my hands?

Social events

If I look at the floor and focus on my feet I won't trip over anything, right? Time to pretend I'm texting. Nobody talk to me, nobody talk to me, please lord don't let anyone talk to me.

Interviews

Potential boss: So tell me a little about yourself.

I don't know who I am.

Phone calls

I will do anything to avoid making or answering a phone call. Should I write out what I'm going to say? What if it goes to voicemail? Hey this is.. *oh my god I don't remember my own name*

Restaurants

Yeah, don't take me to a nice restaurant - you will regret it. I'll spend the entire time trying to figure out what fork to use and I'll probably spill something or choke on my food.

The awkward life is rough, but it's who I am!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Struggles Only The Most Awkward People Understand

"WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS?!"

I'm naturally an introvert that longs to be an extrovert - which ends up making things pretty awkward.

Classes

Hugs

Cuddling

Seeing people from my past

Family reunions

Introductions

Shaking hands

Compliments & gifts

Checking out at a store

Eye contact

Pictures

Social events

Interviews

Phone calls

Restaurants

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I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

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