I've always said that winter break from school is the best break of all, even better than summer. All my friends and I have decided this because, on winter break, you have a new semester or new quarter waiting for you, meaning there will be no work to be done over break. No homework equals all the time in the world to relax and enjoy the time you have off for the holidays.

This year, I had an entire month to be home for the holidays - December 15th to January 15th. As I return to school tomorrow, I reflect on my conflicted feelings about going back to school.

Because it has been an entire month, I obviously miss my friends, roommates, and life at college for sure. But at the same time, I can't help but be upset to leave the comfort and familiarity of my own home, where I have no major responsibilities or deadlines like the ones waiting for me when I return to school.

Usually, it is easy for me to decide which feeling I feel the most - am I more excited to return to school, or am I more upset to leave home? I've concluded that due to the holidays, it has been impossible for me to make this choice.

On holiday break, the pros of being at home are:

1. Home Cooked Meals

Much better than cafeteria food, by a mile.

2. Your Own Bed

No offense to dorm mattresses, but my bed at home takes the cake.

3. No Homework

This one is a no-brainer.

4. Getting to be in your hometown

Perfect for those who may be a little homesick.

5. Seeing old friends

And those who miss their middle school and high school friends.

6. Spending time with family

The best part about winter break.

All of these reasons are things that tug at my heartstrings when I think about returning to college, but then once my mind is on that topic, I can't help but think about all the reasons I am excited to go back.

The pros of going back to school are:

1. Reuniting with roommates and friends

The people you spend every day with, you finally get to see again.

2. Excitement of a new semester

Getting used to a new schedule can be a thriller.

3. Living on your own

Being with family is wonderful, but living independently can be extremely fun to return to after the holidays.

4. Going out on the weekends

College nightlife is definitely more happening than hometown nightlife.

5. Exploring new places

If you go to college far away, going on adventures can be a great way to spend free time.

After evaluating these lists of pros in my mind, I still believe nothing will force me to choose between my conflicted feelings. Although this is a frustrating feeling, I have to remember how lucky I am to have two different places in my life that being away from both makes me sad. When I am home, I use every minute that I have to spend here to fully appreciate the wonderful place that I come from. When I am at school, I try to take in the time I have there, because 4 years does go by very quickly. Something reassuring to me is that I know I am not the only one in the world who feels this way, for everyone struggles with leaving home, leaving school, or returning to either depending on their feelings about them.

So, I hope this little narrative of mine can serve as a message to anyone reading this, that wherever you are in life, appreciate the time you have there because you'll never know how much you may miss it someday. And, always be hopeful to return.