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I Struggled To Find God In The Chaos Of College

You never know how much you need something until you lose it.

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I Struggled To Find God In The Chaos Of College
Emma Brown

I was born into the Methodist Church and I have attended Duke Memorial United Methodist Church in Durham, North Carolina my entire life. It was there that I was baptized, confirmed, and found my faith family. When I moved to Greenville, NC to attend East Carolina University I was not prepared for the transition when it came to my faith and church.

When I was in sixth grade I joined youth group and so did multiple of my friends. My grade had the largest group of kids in youth group and remained that way until we graduated. My church friends were some of my best friends. No matter what we were doing, our time together was always valuable to me. My church friends were people I could connect with on a different level.

I found a place as a leader and friend within my church because of my youth group and our youth minister, Gair McCullough. My faith family (the many people who were apart of the youth group whether as youth, advisors, small group leaders, or volunteers) shaped me into the person I am today. Without them, my life would not have been as full of joy and compassion throughout my middle and high school years.

When I started school at ECU, I wanted to find a faith organization that I felt at home with but I struggled to do so. I struggled to explore options and step out of my comfort zone. I became caught up with other things and failed to remain strong in my faith.

Having grown up in a traditional service, it is difficult to switch to something non-traditional. I'm not opposed to it and have tried a few times but I have discovered that it is just not for me. Many of my friends attend church or are apart of faith organization but I cannot find one that fits best for me.

Not having a faith family that I know and am comfortable with was difficult. I struggled with my relationship with God and with myself which is why this year I am making a priority to find it. While this year was hard in some ways it also helped me discover different things about myself. One of those things is that my faith is important to me and I want it to be more a part of my life and eventually my kids lives.

This past year without a strong faith family and relationship with God allowed me to grow as a person in different but also helped me realize what is important to me as a continue with my life. It helped me realize that I want and need a relationship with God. It allowed me to know that I will have to push out of my comfort zone not only now but in the future when I move elsewhere because you never know what life may bring.

I believe that God works in mysterious ways but that he will always call us back home to him and he has done just that with me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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