It's a beautiful day: the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the breeze is blowing — and you are sneezing, coughing, wheezing and practically dying as you curse the immune system you've been doomed with. It's one of the only bad things about being a college student — getting sick. You essentially become the guy from the Snickers commercial: cranky, irritable and ready to scream at anyone who crosses you. Whether it's a "simple" cold or a full-fledged stomach bug, these things all those who have been sick in college know to be true:
1. You've never wanted your mom more than you do right now.
Remember when you had to practically peel your mom off of you when she first dropped you off for college? Yeah, you're kicking yourself for that now, aren't you? All you want is to be tucked into bed, pretend you're still a helpless little kid (you basically are anyway, right?) and be spoon-fed some homemade soup from your mom.
2. Especially since you have no idea what you're doing...
Go to the grocery store, they said. You'll be able to find some medicine, they said. As if it were that simple. You have absolutely no clue what kind of stuff you need. You never knew how many versions of Advil there were before now. Will this pill make you drowsy? You don't know, but you're going to take it anyway, even if you're about to drag yourself to class. It can't get any worse than it already is.
3. You cannot believe how expensive medicine is.
On top of having no clue what medicine to buy, you didn't know it would cost you an arm and a leg to buy basic cold and flu medicine. You now are forced to make crucial life choices: Do you buy the $10.99 pack of Advil Cold and Sinus, or do you eat dinner tonight? Do you splurge on some of that extra strength Tylenol, or will your piercing headache make do with the regular stuff so that you can afford the gas it takes to even make it to the store?
4. The health center is absolutely incompetent.
You basically hacked up a lung on your way there, but for some unknown reason the "medical professionals" at the health center will not help you whatsoever. You could have the Bubonic Plague and their response would still be, "Here's a cough drop!" Thanks for nothing...
5. Your friends avoid you as if you actually had the plague.
It's a jungle out there. Every man for themselves. So, naturally, your friends suddenly fall off the face of the earth now that you're sick. Part of you understands — you wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy, let alone your good pal. Still, the pain of being a quarantined loner starts to take its toll on you after the first few days.
6. That being said, you're perfectly fine with isolating yourself from the rest of the world.
Who are you kidding? Even if your friends weren't cringing at the thought of hanging out with your gross, sick self, you wouldn't want to see them or anyone anyways. You are perfectly content with wallowing in self pity. People may call you over-dramatic, but they can't speak until they've experienced this ultimately pathetic feeling of hopelessness.
7. You can't help but have major FOMO, though.
You know it doesn't make any sense — you just got done complaining about how you just want to left to wallow in your own pool of phlegm like the disgusting couch potato that you are. The second you see all of those Instagram posts, Tweets and Snapchats, though? Well, that's a whole other story. The FOMO is unreal.
8. Although, you wouldn't have time to go out anyways, since you're drowning in all of the classwork you've missed.
Missing an entire week of classes sounded fun at the time. You planned on milking that as long as you could. Reality hits you pretty hard, though, when you suddenly have three papers to write, two tests to study for and five days worth of notes for multiple classes to get a hold of.
9. You've run out of shows to binge-watch on Netflix.
You know you've reach an all time low when even Netflix isn't a viable source of entertainment anymore. You didn't think it was possible, but you blew through all nine seasons of "One Tree Hill" in just four days. That's something to be proud of, right?
10. The second you get better, you feel like a whole new breed of human.
Nothing can stop you now. Except yet another strand of the common cold. Will the agony ever cease?
