It’s not unusual for the average person to log on to Facebook or Twitter and see that somebody has shared a video about someone who can’t hear, using their hands to communicate. Sometimes these people have things in their ears and sometimes they don’t, but there’s something that these people have in common: they are part of a community that is being stereotyped by mainstream society.
As a member of this community, I often find it difficult to share my story with people because of their attitude towards people who are deaf or hard of hearing. While I’m not completely unable to hear, I’m often asked questions about my hearing aids and the misconceptions that I encounter on a day-to-day basis are very startling. Hopefully, this list will open the eyes of people who spend time around other hard of hearing people and have a small understanding of what we struggle with.
1. "So...can you hear at all without those things in your ear?"
Okay, this is by far one of the funniest questions that I'm asked by people. I often just shake my head, but every part of my being wants to counter with something snarky. Also, please remember that the "things" in my ears are not called that; they have a name, and it would show so much respect to me and others if you learned the name and called them by it!
In short, no, I cannot hear without my hearing aids. Everything is like a mumbly mess without them, and I cherish them.
2. "But...you're like, totally normal! There's no way that you're hard of hearing!" "Were you born like this?"
Alright. This really stumps me, and I never know what to say in response to those that say this to me. While it is true that most people who can't hear have speech problems, that doesn't give anybody, including me, the ability to assume that all people with hearing problems have speech problems.
No, I was not born this way. This disability was developed when I was young, but that doesn't mean that it has not affected me. I dealt with insecurity after insecurity, and after almost 10 years, I have finally grown to accept who I am. Calling me normal isn't going to help with that.
3. "Can you hear me? How about now?"
These are two questions that are usually asked with either a yell perfectly placed in my ear or a whisper said far out of my earshot. Chances are that if you ask this question, I'm already annoyed with you for yelling, or frustrated with myself about not being able to hear. So please, try to refrain from this.
4. "What does the world sound like with hearing aids? Can I wear them?"
I don't enjoy saying that questions are stupid, but if I did, this would be one of those.
The only difference between my hearing and yours is the decibels that I can hear at. They're different from yours because that's how hearing loss works. With my hearing aids, I'm able to hear at slightly higher decibels than you, and chances are that the world sounds slightly different to me as it does for you.
Also, no. You can't wear my hearing aids. Thanks for asking, though!
5. "Isn't hearing loss for old people?"
No. No, it isn't. It can affect anybody, at any age, at any time. Don't limit a disability to age ranges.
6. "Do you know sign language? Sign something!"
I'm going to be completely honest: no, I don't know sign language. This form of communication is just like any other language: it takes time and practice, and I don't have a lot of time to learn a whole new language and practice it. I can probably sign a few curse words (sorry, mom) and maybe begin a conversation, but anything after that is too advanced for me.
So, dear friends, I hope these questions and answers provided information for you that allows you to interact with hard of hearing people in a more open and less stereotypical way. Remember: just because we can't hear perfectly doesn't mean that we aren't human. Give us a chance, and we may just surprise you.
