Written the morning of 6/12/2016:

Today doesn’t feel the same.

Last night, I drove along I4 headed home from a wedding around midnight. As my friend and I drove past the Downtown Orlando lights, we verbally admired how beautiful our city is. “Look at our home! It’s so pretty.” It’s insane how this moment is so distinct in my head now.

This morning, I woke up for church and checked my phone. I clicked on Twitter and the first thing I saw was #PrayforOrlando.

Next, I came across an article: “20 people dead, 42 hospitalized.”

The next several minutes I didn't move- confused. Why does this keep happening? And now here, in my home? There’s something about this happening at home that really took me back. I left home fearfully and almost felt numb. I had a hard time singing at church this morning.

I checked my phone obsessively in the hours to come – the number of lives lost increasing as time passed.

Today doesn’t feel the same. There are people struggling to stay alive in hospital rooms because of a senseless act of violence. What are we going to do? Why did someone think that this was OK?

It wasn’t, it isn’t and it NEVER will be. We are too used to these kinds of situations. We have seen it before. Way, way too many times before.

It is not about politics or religion. It is not about gun laws. It is not about ethnicity or any other controversial difference. It is about who we are; individually and as a whole. It is about how we live our lives each and every day. It is about our actions and how we treat people. It is about our love.

The overwhelming support and unity in the communities of Orlando and all around the world is beautiful to watch. But we cannot let that stop after this week. We cannot stand by idly as these tragic situations continue to unfold.

We cannot let this be something that we allow to slip past our minds as time moves forward. Let it be something that we carry with us, something that stirs us to action and shifts our minds and hearts to something greater. Let us strive to live and love and do so as best as we possibly can.

Keep in mind that tomorrow is not promised. Time is precious. And most importantly: we are ALL human beings.

Stop treating people like they are less than you because they have a different skin color/religion/sexual orientation/ethnicity/etc.

I noticed that I am moving a little bit slower today. I am more aware of my surroundings. I am more cautious in my words and in my actions. I am much more aware of how little time we have to do things that matter.

Today doesn’t feel the same, but our city is still beautiful. While today is filled with anger, sadness, and confusion- that is only a small part of the big picture. Today is also filled with overwhelming support, unity, inspiration, and even though it may not seem like it – hope.

To those who lost a loved one in the Orlando shooting or to anyone who lost someone in a circumstance such as this, I am so sorry for your loss. We see your pain. What was done to your loved one was unjust and I hope that we can work together to prevent anything like it from happening ever again. You are not alone. You are loved. I hope that you feel the deep care and support from the people and communities around you. We are with you.

#OrlandoStrong

*If you are a local, Orlando Weekly released an article "Everything Orlandoans can do to give and receive help after Pulse Shooting." It contains information about donations, blood banks, and counseling and can be found here: http://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2016/0...