Never have I ever had a wild party while my parents were out of town. Never have I ever sneaked out of the house to join my friends on a crazy adventure. Never have I ever thought of disobeying my parents just to spite them and their "ridiculous" rules. Growing up with strict parents may have been rough at times, especially in the whiny elementary grades and the rebellious middle school years, but the rules and regulations of living in a household with such parental guidance made sense, leading to an inability to ever dispute them. I have no problem with this for the biggest reason: why insensibly rebel against rules that made sense?

I remember when I was roughly ten or eleven years old, my parents asked us if we thought they were strict, and whether or not that was a good thing for us. I remember answering, "Yes, you're strict, but it makes sense that you are." I was only ten, but I was able to comprehend that well-structured boundaries within our household were good. At the time, of course, I didn't quite know how to put that concept into words, but my basic understanding was there nonetheless.

Granted, I have been extremely blessed with the parents God has given me; nevertheless, the rules and boundaries they set for me and my siblings all came from their desire to raise us through their love and to see us flourish as adults, not just as children. The boundaries they set created a culture within our household that gave us the freedom to make mistakes and understand that it was safe to make them. This way, when we grew up and entered into a harsh world, we understand the reality of human failure. Mistakes can be easily made. It isn't the end of the world.

Additionally, we never felt the need to rebel against those boundaries because we understood they were good for us. We benefited from them, and eventually latched on to our parents desire to help us find our potential and flourish in that as we grew. Then, when we were given a privilege (such as staying out later than normal, etc.), we knew how important it was not to break it. We had created a mutual trust with our parents by respecting the boundaries we'd been following since the beginning. Therefore, we treasured rather than abused those freedoms to live and thrive as we thought and believed.

Now, I'm not saying that my siblings and I were (are?) perfect children--we weren't and my parents can agree with that reality. Raising children is a challenge: finding the balance between giving your children enough freedom to grow into the people they're meant to be, but also laying down strong enough boundaries for them to understand the complexities of relationships and life as a whole.

Growing up with strict parents is one of my favorite things when I look back on my childhood. Their guidance taught me respect, responsibility, self-awareness, and a better understanding of the saying, "I do it because I love you."

It has never been about a paranoia of being punished if our friends spilled something on the rug, or the stress of doing it exactly right all the time. It's about a mutual love and respect for one another as human beings, no matter the age. That we are human, and we will fail. Parents are just as imperfect as their children; they're just a little more ahead in the game.

Everyone has a different backstory, with different experiences and relationships with their parents. But, I am forever grateful for the friendship that has flourished because of my parents strict guidance and their love.

Always,

Frances McKinley