"I don't have time."
"Sorry, I can't. Busy."
"I have ____ to do."
"I'm going here to do this for that."
Those four phrases are all I've been saying lately.
To put it simply, I'm exhausted.
Between classes and schoolwork, Odyssey, Rowan's newspaper The Whit, and now joining a sorority, I never have time for myself anymore. What little time I do have, I try to spend maintaining friendships with people who I don't see as much now that I'm constantly busy.
I was pretty excited about getting involved in college. Of course, instead of doing the smart thing and building up involvement at a manageable pace, I pretty much decided that it was a good idea to take everything on at once.
I was wrong, but guess what? Even if I'm drowning, there's no way I'm going to quit because that's the same as admitting defeat. No thanks.
I was always pretty good at multitasking, but scheduling myself? Ehhh, needs improvement.
It wasn't so bad at first.
I had been doing The Whit since the beginning of the first semester, so I got pretty used to doing that plus schoolwork. During the first semester, that was all I did. I guess I never felt any strain because I got to pick events I'd cover for the newspaper, and my classes weren't particularly difficult or anything. Covering events for The Whit never had a set routine and changed weekly, but I still had plenty of time to have a social life, and also get some alone time in.
Second semester, this semester, was when everything kind of went to hell.
Towards the middle of Christmas break, I had started writing with Odyssey. I figured it'd be great because I had a consecutive due date for posts and revisions, and it was. Having something with a set schedule was pretty nice. But keep in mind at the time, I was on winter break, which meant no school work and no newspaper.
When I got back to school, things were obviously much different.
My classes, while still not especially hard, are definitely more demanding. Everything kind of became a balancing act.
Sometimes, The Whit would be especially demanding for the week and I'd lose track of Odyssey a little bit. Some days, my professors would give me a ridiculous amount of homework to do (Professor McGee, I'm talking to you, my guy), and all this school work would put me off-schedule for submitting The Whit articles.
My news editor for The Whit had told me that her position as the editor would be opening once she graduated in the spring. She asked if I'd be interested in applying to take over, and I was like hell yeah.
Going into my sophomore year as the news editor for the school newspaper would look fantastic on a resume. She told me I could come in every Wednesday and help/watch her edit, so I could learn the ropes. I definitely wasn't expecting how much went into it, though. We were in the newsroom from 5 P.M. to 9 P.M., and she told me that sometimes it takes even longer.
So, I added the extra hours with The Whit to my already rocky schedule.
I know you're probably thinking it's not that much, but it's harder than you think, trust me. However, even though it felt like a lot, I did still have time to hang out with my friends and maintain a social life, but I had less time to myself.
But, of course, that didn't last very long.
I've recently become a pledge sister for Alpha Sigma Alpha, one of the sisterhood's on campus at Rowan. I absolutely love it, but it's also absolutely insane. I have something to do for the sorority almost every day, as well as weekly mandatory meetings.
Add that on top of what I was already trying to manage.
It's extremely draining, mostly because it's also still new, so I'm still trying to get used to everything. With the sorority, some meetings or events change weekly, so my schedule is never a consecutive routine with the exception of my posts for Odyssey.
I guess the worst part about being so involved is that I tend to miss out a little extra when it comes to friends.
The other day, my best friend, who literally lives five doors down the hallway from me, came into my room to hang out since I actually had some time to kill for once. She said that she missed me and that she wished she saw me more. Pretty bittersweet.
I'm trying my best to learn to manage my schedule. I think once I figure out what works and really get on top of things, I'll be smooth sailing, and I'll have more time to spend with friends, or maybe time to spend with myself.
One thing I don't want to do is neglect myself, as well as other people.
I spend any free time doing leftover homework, or checking my emails and looking at my calendar, both of which are like my new BFFs.
It's okay because, at the end of the day, if you're not willing to work for what you want, where's the satisfaction in having it, right?
It's all worth it because I'm doing what I love, and I think that's all a person could ever ask for in life.
I love writing, I love school, I absolutely adore my sorority sisters, and I love my friends.
It's a lot, but it gives me a lot of happiness.