I don't know what it is this year. I really don't. But usually I am in the Christmas spirit before Thanksgiving and before December even begins.

But here I am. I'm not sure what's different this year, but 2018 has been an interesting year nonetheless.

I think that school has taken its toll on me and I need winter break to get in the spirit, and maybe I'll get to do some wintery things. I think that the weather is not all that helpful either. Southern California weather does not seem to drop like I'm used to in Florida even though it rarely gets below freezing.

I'm dreaming of baking cookies, but the stress of finals is not helping all that much. I think that maybe my joy for Christmas is dissipating? Which would be extremely saddening much like other things seem to be as I get older.

But it's OK! I'm going to bake as many cookies and write Christmas cards until my inner Santa's helper is sick of writing Christmas cards and eating Christmas cookies.

Moreover, I wish I could buy everyone in my life things that they want and truly deserve - but alas, money seems to become an issue and more so at this time of the year.

I feel like Kelly Clarkson probably went through a thought process such as I am going through currently considering her Grown-up Christmas list seems to persist and it seems all the more relatable now. I wish a little Christmas could infect me with some Christmas cheer in all honesty.

I am ready for Christmas but, at the same, I want more time to do more Christmassy things! I think that being away from my friends is also taking a toll on me because I so badly want to plan a Christmas party and organize a Secret Santa of sorts or have a White Elephant party.