Fact: roughly 18-percent of the American population -- that's approximately 40 million Americans over the age of 18 -- suffer from an anxiety disorder. Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the country, and is also, supposedly, the most easily treated. If you were to ask someone who suffers from one of the many different anxiety disorders out there, they might disagree. When in the moment, caught up in your worries and stressors, anxiety is often not an easy thing to handle.
I have suffered from anxiety for years. What started with a common, dreadfully sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach at school when I forgot to complete a homework assignment in sixth grade gradually turned into a morning routine of panic as soon as I open my eyes in college, almost nine-years later. And while, in ways, I may have gotten worse as the years go by, I also believe that my mental health has improved as I learn new ways to cope with my surroundings when things get out of my control. Here are a few things that I've found help me gain control of myself again:
1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique.
This technique is great for when you're experiencing sensory overload -- that anxious feeling when any sound, sudden movement and light aggravate you. This happens to me most often when I'm trying to finish an assignment quickly as a deadline approaches. The technique calls for you to center yourself and focus on your surroundings, finding five things you can see, four things you can feel (i.e. "My feet on the floor" or "A breeze on my face"), three things you can hear right now, two things you can smell -- or two smells you like -- and finally one good thing about yourself. You can repeat the process as many times as you need until you find yourself calming down!
2. Music.
Music can truly be a healing experience. I love listening to music when I feel myself getting worked up to calm myself before it gets out of hand. I'll listen to anything, depending on my mood. In the car, on a particularly stressful driving day, I like to listen to a few fun, upbeat country songs -- or pop, depending on what the radio is giving me. Sitting at home thinking about all of my looming deadlines and responsibilities, I like to listen to more folky songs, like "Painkillers" by Brian Fallon, or something more soft and dreamy, like Broods or Daughter. Spotify has a ton of great, pre-made playlists for relaxing as well! Explore your music tastes and see what works best to take your mind off things for a while.
3. Lists.
In case you missed it, I like to call myself a "control enthusiast" -- not to be confused with a control freak -- and lists are my go-to for pretending that I have some semblance of control over my life. I just think they're great; you can organize your thoughts, color code things, and most importantly, get it all down on paper and off your chest!
4. Candles and incense.
I had a candle addiction for a while where I would go to my nearest HomeGoods and buy as many candles as I could afford, in all different scents and colors. Seriously, I have more candles than I know what to do with. But they come in handy when stress sets in! I like to burn my favorite scents, vanilla and raspberry sangria (on separate occasions, of course) when I'm doing homework, cleaning, or even just relaxing with a book. The pleasant aromas have a calming effect that subtly helps ease my thoughts.
5. Long drives (or short drives to a scenic view).
When I turned 18 and was given my mom's old minivan, the Mom mobile, I nearly drove that thing into the ground. I drove to Newport, to Foxboro, to Providence, to Narragansett and anywhere else I felt like driving that night. Whether it was with friends or by myself, a drive at night would always excite me and distract me from the real world for a little while. After I really did drive my van into the ground, I started keeping my drives local. The boat yard in East Providence is one of my favorite places to sit and chill for a few hours, and India Point Park across the bay in Providence is a close second!
6. Going to your "Happy Place."
This one may be a cliche, but it really does work. When I feel like my surroundings are becoming too overwhelming, be it at work or in class, I'll close my eyes and imagine myself in one of my favorite spots I mentioned earlier. I'll picture memories where I felt happy, excited and relaxed. After a little while, the situation I'm presently in is a little more bearable.
7. Pets.
Pets are great. They just know whenever you're in a bad mood. My two puppies will lay next to my legs and put their paws on me, just to let me know they're there. My cat has taken to rubbing her head all over me -- my arms, hands, legs and face. She doesn't care if her nose accidentally ends up in my mouth, because she's just trying to make me feel better. Snuggle your fluffballs, guys. It's impossible to be sad when a kitten is sticking her ear up your nose, trust me.
8. Talking it out.
This one is similar to making lists, and one that I'm sure my mother has had enough of (also similar to my list making!). When I don't have time to sit down and write a whole "To Do" list out, I'll talk to anyone -- literally anyone who will listen -- and go through my plan. It could be a schedule of which shops I need to swing by after work, or it could be my homework list. Anything that's currently weighing me down, I'll talk about, just to get it off my chest and out into the universe. Knowing that someone else knows your plans and can encourage you to follow through with them is a huge help!
9. Cleaning.
OK, I hate cleaning. My room is filled with piles of laundry that needs to be put away and water bottles that need to be recycled, but I cannot bring myself to get up and do it. When I do finally find the motivation to clean, though, I love it. I love a nice, cleaned room. Having everything organized and neat can really help clear your mind and keep your thoughts in order; you'll feel like a whole new person! (At least until laundry day, when the chair will inevitably be filled right up again).
10. Mindless TV.
The show "Two Broke Girls" is really awful in my opinion. The story line is stale, the writing is subpar and the jokes are cheap and mildly offensive. I hate this show, and yet I find myself watching it on the big screen in my living room every once in a while after a long day. Why? It's mindless television; there's no thought process involved. While I watch it, I don't have to think about the customer that yelled at me at work earlier in the day, or that 12-page research paper due next week that I haven't started yet. For 30-minutes, I can watch Max and Caroline worry about their problems instead of worrying about mine!
11. Deep Breathing.
When I have a panic attack -- which is more frequently than I would like -- it feels like the world is closing in on me. The edges of my vision go black, my chest tightens, my body trembles, I sometimes become too weak to stand, I sob, I hyperventilate, and I sometimes lose small lapses of time. It's absolutely terrifying. When an attack strikes, I've been told to close my eyes and picture the beach, with the waves lapping against the shore in the distance. The trick is to work on timing your breaths with the sound of the waves -- if you breathe too fast you'll create a storm, but if you breathe slow and steady you'll have a peacefully serene beach. This takes a lot of practice, and usually works best when you have someone to talk you through it.
12. Let it go.
This one is certainly the hardest piece of advice, and something that I have to use every day. Life has the tendency to do crazy things without telling you first. Not everything can be in your control, and even when things are in your control, they won't always go according to plan. I have to remind myself every day to let it go. Let go of that awkward conversation you had in the hallway. Let go of that looming deadline. Let go of the negative energy you're holding inside of yourself. You only have one life to live, and you don't want to spend it dwelling on the negatives. Let it go!
Keep in mind, these are the things that work for me. What works for me may not work for the next person, but the first step in learning to cope is exploring different techniques. Give this list a try, and let us know your techniques in the comments!
