"I'm so OCD about that; it drives me crazy."
"She's so skinny; she must be anorexic."
"My social anxiety is really kicking in today; I'm really not in the mood to hang out with anybody at all."
These phrases all seem pretty harmless, right? You've probably heard a friend say something like this at some point, or maybe you've even said something similar in the past. While there are definitely more offensive things you could do than saying you're depressed because you're feeling a little down one day or lamenting your attention deficit when there are too many distractions in the library and you're having trouble paying attention to your homework, doing so also discounts the daily struggle that seriously impacts the lives of many.
If you do this – whether it is intentional or not – others look at you and get a connotation about the mental illness. That connotation is wrong. It really does hurt those of us who deal with these mental illnesses. You promote a negative view on mental health. Our lives are difficult with the consistent battles that we have to fight. Some of us suffer in silence, not wanting to tell anyone and others sit in a psychologist’s office every week trying to figure out coping mechanisms and the root cause of the illness.
In today's society anxiety, depression, and mental illnesses are being romanticized, especially on social media. But, in my opinion, the walking definition of anxiety... It’s nothing beautiful or something that should be romanticized. There is so much to anxiety that a lot of people don’t see. If you look at a person with anxiety what do you see? You see a person just like everyone else, their appearance is the same. You can’t just look at someone and say they don’t have anxiety because they are laughing or, in your opinion, their life isn’t bad.
There aren’t just jokes being made about OCD. Frequently, I hear the among my the romanticizing of anxiety. Stressing or worrying at times doesn't mean your anxiety is acting up. Sure, you might be anxious in the moment, but anxiety disorders are a debilitating reality that seriously impact the lives of many.
Anxiety is personal. It’s the thoughts that run through your head at all hours of the day and night. It’s staying up all night because your thoughts won’t allow you to sleep. Anxiety is not being able to breathe right because it feels as if you cannot get enough air into your lungs. Anxiety is not being able to socialize with people because you’re scared. It’s the constant worry and the scenarios you make up in your head. It’s double-checking things even though you know you did it but you have to make sure you did because you live in constant worry. Did I hand in that assignment? Did I turn off my hair straightener? Did I lock the door? Anxiety is being somewhere but not being present because you’re stuck in your own head thinking about everything other than what’s going on in that moment.
Anxiety is not something to romanticize. Because I don’t think it’s beautiful when I can’t pick up a phone and talk to someone, it’s not beautiful when I walk into a room and immediately think people are talking about me. So we as a society need to stop romanticizing it and start supporting people with coping with anxiety. Because every single person is beautiful and deserves to know they aren’t alone.
Depression is not a fashion trend; it's not a way to get your attention or in fact anyone else's attention. It is a feeling that on certain days you can't physically get out of your own bed. It is looking in the mirror and when your own reflection is not recognizable, you begin despising what is staring back at you, it is a feeling of sadness that is so overwhelming that you can't even force yourself to smile. Depression is pushing away the one you love the most, and you just want to give up. Depression is not a fashion trend, it is not romantic the way movies portray it.
Depression isn't a cute girl in a huge sweater that falls on her small shoulders, it is not a girl in a messy bun and no makeup. Depression is not a fashion statement. Depression is not messy and dirty, it's not smudged in mascara while you are crying your eyes out. But what it truly is greasy hair and old clothes, it is not caring if you look like a human or not. Depression takes away your ability to take care of yourself. You don't care if you are going to eat that day or not. It is laying in bed for hours curled up crying and trying to understand why you don’t feel like a human being. Depression is consuming and draining. The only thing that really grows is the amount of scars you have on your mental health; it's not being able to recognize your old self. It's not pretty or poetic; depression is horrible, jagged, puffy and reminds you of the never-ending pain that you have to cope with just for being alive.
There's nothing beautiful about the noticeable dark bags or the blank stare as you can't even look like you have any emotion. Depression is a silent little monster that constantly stays around you. Depression isn't romantic; it's not poetic, and it's not easy to overcome and cope with. It's a monster that stays under your bed when you sleep, hovers over you when you are trying to conquer the day and hides in your makeup when you cover up the baggy eyes and oily skin.
It has become a trend so say you have anxiety, depression, OCD or another mental illness.
Newsflash: it's not cute, nor is it a joke.
Depression is not beautiful, and anxiety is not cute. Anorexia is not #goals. Cutting yourself is not aesthetic. Throwing up your lunch is not cute. Suicide is not pretty. Starving yourself is not alluring. Panic attacks aren't fun. Binge eating is not classy. Drinking until you can't feel the pain anymore is not charming. Mental health is something to make fun of or joke about.
As someone with a mental illness, I urge everyone to stop romanticizing our struggles. These illnesses are not something we choose to have. Stop speaking of something you have no full idea about. Be thankful that you don’t have to face our battles.
