The biggest step in any hero's journey is the risk he/her takes of leaving "home". This is not always his/her house, but his/her comfort zone. The hero goes away in order to accomplish something for himself/herself, his/her loved ones, or his/her community. He/she must count the cost of this mission and sacrifice almost everything for its worth. The hero see a few of the struggles that will come up ahead, but it just isn't possible for them to be prepared for all of them. The personal growth the hero experiences is another thing they never planned for. However, he/she comes back changed, different, better. This is the story of Disney's most loved characters, such as Mulan, Belle, and Aladdin. This is the story of each Olympian I am in awe of as I watch on my TV. Most importantly, this is the story of each of us. Right now, I am embarking on this portion of my own journey. As I leave the comforts of my hometown, the comforts of my family and longtime friends, I am reminded that the best stories are those in which the main character takes a few steps out of their comfort zone. However, there were many events that had to happen before I would be ready to take this step. I learned some necessary lessons the hard way, but I am better because of it.
If you would've told me ten, or even five, years ago about everything happening in my life right now, I would've been super excited and looking forward to these days. I probably wouldn't believe some of the things you'd tell me about where I'm at and how truly blessed I already am. A year ago, I definitely had Baylor on my radar, but the dream was so far off. Getting to this point in life took many hours of studying for the ACT, working hard in my AP classes, and talking teachers into giving me good grades (I only did that a few times. I was desperate). I don't really like to talk about how much I actually studied throughout high school. It's more than anyone (maybe besides my mom and dad) knows and way more than I'll ever admit if you asked me. The hardest work in my high school academic career took place during my junior year. Then, I had to convince my parents that the expenses were worth it. I toured more colleges than I care to count. Some close in distance to Baylor, others were further. (Basically, every college trying to sell themselves to every perky high school student willing to listen). I was pretty indifferent about every college besides the one or two I just did not like. Then, I toured Baylor University, and it really stood out to me. At first, it was because Jesus just came up in casual conversations during campus tours and talks with students. Then, I went to events where they prayed over us SO many times and unashamedly proclaimed their deep faith in God. I can't tell you how many people wanted to get to know me and took extra steps to encourage me while I was on campus. This is when I stopped looking at other colleges. I knew exactly where I wanted to be, and I would do whatever it took to make that happen. However, many discussions with many wise people about college decisions followed during my senior year. I shed quite a few tears as a life in Waco seemed to turn into a failed dream. I prayed a lot and dreamed a lot as I began to unwillingly consider the reality that I would need to construct a Plan B.
Obviously, my story does not end with a plan B. I move in at Baylor University this week and officially start my life as a Baylor bear. What I can see up ahead right now is pretty blurry. I know one thing for sure. As I excitedly take this step just slightly out of my comfort zone, I know God will be there to meet me on the other side. He always has been, even when I've failed to see Him there. I take this truth with me for the hard days as I begin the greatest journey yet. I only wish I had meditated on it more often throughout my senior year.
Last year, I never would have admitted to being stressed out, but I was. I was almost every waking moment of my senior year, and the moments I was sleeping were few. I wanted everyone to think I was enjoying my last year of high school. Mostly because, I didn't want my issues to be an extra burden on everyone else who was trying to enjoy their last year of high school, and I didn't want to cause any extra, negative emotions for those who only had one more year with me. However, the people close to me knew exactly when I had reached my breaking point. My parents asked me what was wrong with me many times as their normally light-hearted, smiling daughter randomly balled her eyes out at the dinner table about every other night. Throughout my senior year, I spent greater amounts of time than I had for the rest of my life put together on the phone, hoping my trusted friends could console my haywire emotions, talking to Godly people that I look up to about God's will, and arguing with my parents. I took an eight-month fast from Instagram. I deleted the app for eight months and only re-downloaded it to post birthday collages for my dearest friends. One, because I knew I wasted way too much time there and two, I thought silencing that would help me find God's will for my college decision. It probably would've helped a little, but in hindsight, I let other "good" things fill that void and cloud the focus I needed. I was so focused on, and frankly, desperately worried about how many things that seemed impossible to me would work out, that I missed enjoying all of my "lasts" along everything good happening around me. I missed taking full advantage of the little time I had left with my family and best friends. My stress and blatant distrust in God caused many conflicts with those I care about most. While trying not to burden everyone else, I was causing so many problems for my favorite people. I wasted their time, while I was freaking out about so many things that don't even matter now. I missed some opportunities. I missed what could've been a time to celebrate. All because I failed to trust that God would "work all things for my good" (Romans 8:28), and I shouldn't be so worried. Rather, I should've been excited to know God's good plan would prevail no matter what.
The past belongs in the past for a reason, but it is beneficial to learn from it. For the days to follow, I am so excited for the future. This story serves as my reminder and altar moment to simply trust God. I know not to waste so much time and energy worrying about tomorrow, but live in the present moment and fully enjoy everything it has to offer.
No matter where you are in life, I hope you feel a little more encouraged by my story. Don't stress too much when you can't see the future! God holds the whole world in His hands. Enjoy your journey.
