As I sit here and I write these articles week after week, I often think nothing of them other than the thoughts flowing through my head like a maze. Most of the time, I have no idea where they are headed until I get to the end. Usually, I'll get halfway through, then stop and stare at my screen and keyboard for a few minutes until some strange "epiphany" surfaces through the bleak clouds of writers' block. On some rare occasions, people actually enjoy reading my scattered thoughts that somehow managed to align themselves into something of value, or at the very least, something that will help someone wander through their day with a somewhat different perspective on certain things. A few people have even so bold as to call me a "visionary." In reality all I'm doing is sitting at my desk in the dark at the end of a Sunday night jotting down the first ideas that pop into my head hoping to make sense of them. Some visionary that makes me, I'm only being myself.
As I look back on it, myself now is a completely different self than the one that existed three years ago, as obvious as that sounds. That self was completely ignorant to anything beyond the current day, living blissfully one day at a time. That self was a lot like the appearance of the man who owned the gas station that I drove by on my way home tonight, locking up and heading home for the night, only to wake up and do it all again. While I cannot assume his thoughts, I only said that self was remotely similar to the "appearance" of the man. He might not think so. The only thing I can say without a doubt is that he was alone. He was the only one at that corner store and gas station on the quiet, small town road late at night. The next thing I noticed as I passed him is the fact that I was also alone in that car on the dark, desolate, yet familiar roads of home.
On the other hand we're not really alone. As a matter of fact, before noticing my brief isolation, and before glancing at the man closing up shop, I just came back from dropping off my friends at their houses after a much needed night of fun and being together.
Recently, I came across a movie that spoke volumes on this subject, and also said something that strung a new chord with me. Excuse the vulgar language, as this film was chock-full of socially unacceptable conversation topics, but the heart of it all was in the right place. The idea behind this quote is that even after we're gone, our souls will be together in another place, but also everything that is left behind here on Earth will still be together as well. It composes an interesting and solely true statement.
"...eventually your eyes are gonna stop blinking and your mouth will stop chewing and your blood will stop pumping and then you're gonna sh** yourself. And that's it... And then your cells will sh** themselves, and then all your sh**'s gonna get mixed in with everyone else's sh** till there's nothing left of you, and then that's it... then someday some of your sh** is gonna meet up with some of my sh**, and we'll have something to look forward to, you know?"
As repugnant and as strange as this thought may seem, it is still scientifically true. We are never truly alone, even when it may presently seem that way.
