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15 Pumpkin Spice Products That'll Give You The Scares This Spooky Szn

Pumpkin spice is NOT always nice.

Lauren Burkholder

Oct 15, 2018

West Chester University

15 Pumpkin Spice Products That'll Give You The Scares This Spooky Szn

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It's that time of year again... pumpkin spice season. If you walk into your local Trader Joe's, you will see that every single product has a pumpkin spice form. Some of them make sense, but a lot of them are just plain weird.

This next statement may shock you so before you read on, I am throwing out a trigger warning:

I am a white college-aged female and I hate pumpkin spice.

I know, it's tragic.

When I tell people this, the usual responses are confusion, outrage, and disbelief. I'm not intentionally trying to go against the system and societal norms - I just really don't like the pumpkin spice. In fact, I honestly don't even like anything pumpkin that I can think of. The texture of pumpkin makes me gag and, when it comes to pumpkin spice, there is something in there that gets me (I'm pretty sure it's the cloves because I love cinnamon and ginger... and nutmeg is okay sometimes, too).

America's whole obsession with pumpkin spice has gotten out of hand, in my opinion. Most products make sense (whether I like them or not is irrelevant because I hate them all). I get the coffee, waffles, pancakes, ice cream, yogurt, cereal, oatmeal, cookies, bagels, muffins, bread, and other baked goods, but some products are just so eccentric, over the top, and utterly unnecessary.

1. Pumpkin Spice Pringles

There are so many bizarre flavors of chips out there already that I will never understand. I guess I'll add this one to that list now, too.

2. Pumpkin Spice Kettle Corn

Why are they trying to ruin one of my favorite snacks?

3. Pumpkin Pie Applesauce

I mean, it almost makes sense because cinnamon applesauce is good... But, these are meant for kids to eat, not white college-aged females, and I don't think kids are really in on the pumpkin spice hype at this age.

4. Pumpkin Spice Sausage

Fall spices and meat just don't go together and, therefore, should NOT go together.

5. Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows

I didn't think it was possible to make marshmallows even more disgusting than they already are but apparently, I was wrong...

6. Pumpkin Spice Hummus

WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING?

7. Pumpkin Spice Alcoholic Beverages

Can't you get your pumpkin spice fix with the thousands of other products on the market?

8. Pumpkin Spice Chocolate

This is just too much...

9. Pumpkin Spice Dog Treats

I really don't think dogs care about being part of the hype.

10. Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn

I hate candy corn. I hate pumpkin spice. Therefore, I hate this product.

11. Pumpkin Spice Kale Chips

I just don't get it.

12. Pumpkin Spice Pasta Sauce

I just don't get this either.

13. Pumpkin Spice Gum

Do you really need to be tasting pumpkin spice in between lattes?

14. Pumpkin Spice Dog Shampoo

This one just makes me laugh.

15. Spray-on Pumpkin Spice

And this one just blows my mind... WHY????

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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15 Pumpkin Spice Products That'll Give You The Scares This Spooky Szn

Pumpkin spice is NOT always nice.

1. Pumpkin Spice Pringles

2. Pumpkin Spice Kettle Corn

3. Pumpkin Pie Applesauce

4. Pumpkin Spice Sausage

5. Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows

6. Pumpkin Spice Hummus

7. Pumpkin Spice Alcoholic Beverages

8. Pumpkin Spice Chocolate

9. Pumpkin Spice Dog Treats

10. Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn

11. Pumpkin Spice Kale Chips

12. Pumpkin Spice Pasta Sauce

13. Pumpkin Spice Gum

14. Pumpkin Spice Dog Shampoo

15. Spray-on Pumpkin Spice

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"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

'tis the season to be jolly!

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

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