You've probably been hearing hype for the Netflix original series "Stranger Things" on every social media platform you have- seeing posts about some girl in a pink dress, (Elle? Eleven? El? Who names someone Eleven?) and a slimy monster that kind of looks like a demonic flower with legs. You probably get asked 1,000 times a day if you've seen it, and when you reveal to someone that you haven't, they react like you just told them you kick puppies in your free time.
So for those of you who have managed to stay off the "Stranger Things" bandwagon, you should hop on it ASAP, and if you don't believe me, here are some ways "Stranger Things" will ruin your life in the best way possible.
1. You somehow fall in love with every single character.
In every other TV show I've watched, I've had a few main characters that just get on my nerves. Too whiny, too bland, too dramatic- the list goes on. "Stranger Things" is having none of that. Not only is every character painfully lovable, the four characters the show primarily focuses on are kids. Adorable yet somehow badass kids that you just want to love and protect and hug; ones that make you want to sob every time something even slightly bad happens to them. (#ProtectDustinAtAllCosts2016)
2. Normal aspects of your everyday life are suddenly ridiculously creepy.
Old light bulb flickers in your room? Demogorgon is coming. Decorating for Christmas with your family? Will is speaking to you through the lights. Hear a noise in the wall? It's a portal to the Upside Down. Cable guy here to fix your TV? Hawkins Laboratory is after you, time for witness protection. Papercut? You're done, the monster's coming for you. God forbid you have to pee in the middle of the night, because after hours of binge watching this show, it will be the single most dauntless journey you've ever made.
3. Team Jonathan vs. Team Steve
Jonathan is a clear choice, right? Kindhearted, shy, sweet, obviously totally obsessed with Nancy. But Steve has such good character development. Goes from being a stuck up bully to beating off a demonic monster with a baseball bat to save Nancy and Jonathan from it? No, Jonathan is still clearly the better choice, has a better heart, clearly cares about Nancy more than Steve does. But...Steve's hair...anyway, there's nothing better than a love triangle; especially with these two sweethearts.
4. Your life slowly becomes a "Stranger Things" conspiracy theory.
Lost a pen? It clearly disappeared into the Upside Down, and the gate has obviously opened up in your bedroom. Get a spam email? It's Hawkins Laboratory obtaining your IP address so they can steal you in the middle of the night and experiment on you. That one time you managed to do a water-bottle-flip successfully the first time? You have psychic powers like Elle and are bound to open a gate to a demonic world and be tracked down by the government any day now. Can you trust anyone? Probably not.
5. The Ending
So is she dead? Is she alive but just trapped in the Upside Down with the monster? Why the waffles in the box? Does he just have hope or does he know? Why is Will vomiting up slugs? Why is Nancy still with Steve if she's clearly in love with Jonathan? Is Joyce Byers okay? (Is she ever okay, really?) What happened to Hawkins National Laboratory? Who did Hopper get in the car with? WHEN WILL WE GET #JUSTICEFORBARB?
Moral of the story is this: "Stranger Things" is an impeccably written and addicting show that will 100% ruin your life. You'll neglect all responsibility to binge it, and when it's finally over, you'll want to rip all your hair out. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll spend most of your time hiding your face in your blanket. But if this list hasn't convinced you already, let me assure you- you'll enjoy every last second of this life-ruining experience.
