It seems nearly everyone these days is straight. This can make conversations tricky. Sometimes it feels like you’re walking through a field of landmines and you never know what is going to set them off. But fear not, I have some simple strategies you can use when interacting with your straight friend.
1. Make sure you tell them it’s okay to be straight.
Being straight can be scary in a queer world. Make sure you repeatedly tell them it’s okay for them to be straight whenever the topic arises. If you don’t they may feel like you don’t think it’s okay. This could start arguments or you could lose your friend.
2. Make sure you use straight inclusive language.
Straights don’t always understand queer lingo, so it’s important you use language that doesn’t confuse them too much. Make sure you use gendered pronouns when describing anything, especially people, otherwise they may be confused about what that person is. You should also explain any terms they may be unfamiliar with, such as cis-gendered or non-binary.
3. Don’t assume their sexuality.
Sometimes people may seem gay because of how they dress or act, but they may still be straight. Just because they are wearing chubbies, doesn’t mean they’re gay. Additionally, wearing cargo shorts doesn’t make them straight.
4. Don’t be surprised if they are defensive.
It is common for straight people to be wary around queer people. They may have been discriminated against in the past. You should be understanding of their fear and apologize if you offend them at any point. Make sure you maintain an open and welcoming environment where they know they can be themselves.
5. Don’t be “too gay” around your straight friend.
Being out and proud might make your straight friend uncomfortable. When you hang out with them, try toning it down. Also consider going to straight friendly places with them, like church or Buffalo Wild Wings, so they can interact with their own kind.
6. Make sure they have their own bathroom.
Straight people tend to get nervous using bathrooms with queer people. If they don’t know exactly what genitals another person has or what their intentions in the bathroom are, they won’t be able to use it. Make sure there is a designated straight bathroom when you guys go out. Because most places won’t have one, point them towards the family restroom, where they can pee in peace.
7. Don’t assume they are into you just because they are straight.
Stereotypes suggest straights, especially straight men, are hypersexual. But just because they are attracted to the opposite sex doesn’t mean they are attracted to you.
8. Don’t ask too many unnecessary questions.
I know you may be curious about how they know they’re straight or how sex between a man and a woman works, but you shouldn’t ask. That is personal information and if they want you to know, they will tell you.
9. Be open-minded.
Understand that sexuality is not a choice and they can’t help it if they like the opposite gender. Don’t try to turn them or lecture them on how weird being straight is. Just accept them for who they are.
10. Stand up to heterophobia.
When you see someone bullying or harassing a straight person, stand up for them, especially if it is your friend. It can be hard for them to go out into the world as a straight person. Make sure they feel protected and cared for by you. You can also support them by going to straight pride rallies with them and fighting for their rights.
Being around straight people can be confusing and interactions can go south quick sometimes. But if you make sure to employ these strategies, you’ll be able to maintain a friendship with your straight friend easily. Also just not being an asshole to people who are different from you will work.
