I never thought I would publish this article. But I hope my own experiences can help someone get out of an emotionally abusive relationship. Just know what you're going through right now isn't your fault and was never your fault.
I never thought I would go through any type of abuse within any of the relationships I would ever have. Growing up, I knew that physical abuse was not a part of a healthy relationship. Emotional abuse is a very different, but equally as painful as physical abuse. You always worry if I say something wrong, he'll yell at me, or if I do something wrong he'll have a bad day. The story I'm going to tell you is based on my personal account.
I never thought the day I met you would be the day that I started making excuses for you. Our first date that we had was pretty typical, I made dinner, we sat down, ate, and on paper it was perfect. But in reality it was the worst date I have ever been on; the whole time I was being insulted and made to feel less than a person. I took it as him being nervous; insulting me and making rude comments to make himself feel more comfortable. He told me "this is the way I am, you're just going to have to get used to it" as if staying what's my only choice, but for our two months it was my only choice. That first day I should've broke it off, but I made excuses for him.
I never thought the day would come when I would second-guess myself. I had planned my life on doing what makes me happy and all of the sudden you came along and told me my dreams were stupid. You always pointed out my imperfection while I try to lift you up. I was trying to build a masterpiece in this relationship and all you could do with tear it down. You called me fat and told me that you lowered your standards just to date me. I made the excuse "that's just the way he talks," and "he doesn't mean what he says," but my friends knew that he had changed me. I would always say, "I'll give him another week" and when I would talk to him, he would say, "I was the one that had made all of this up and that I asked to much of him," asking for two texts a day and having a date once a week with too much for him. Because it takes you five hours to write good morning and good night.
I never thought I could be free. The fact was you projected your own insecurities on me. Your own faults your imperfections and told me I was worthless. You got mad when I stood up for myself and told me "that I was just a spoiled brat." You used your past as a scapegoat for why you treated me so poorly. I left you because I deserved better. No one deserves to be treated like common trash. Love isn't supposed to tear someone down it's supposed to liberate and free. When you wanted my forgiveness, I told you I accepted your apology. I forgave you because forgiveness is not for the other person, it's for yourself. I was no longer going to let you control my emotions.
