Speak OUT! Message at the end!

To the one who mentally crushed my spirit,

Now, we both know that this is a tale that started like any normal story would. Well, doesn't it always happen that way? Two people, who believe that they are best friends, fall in love and are happy in a relationship together. Everything is normal and fine at first, but after a little time, people show their true selves to one another. Or was that just us?

It started as a friendship. It was simple and enjoyable. Everything was simple back then, wasn't it? It was a friendship between one boy and one girl.

It was...

It was...

Normal.

Why can we not go back to those days before it all happened?

I had trouble opening up to people and trusting others. There was only a few people that I trusted. I opened up to you, but you did not understand what that fully meant to me. How could you know? Did you know?

Something changed and you asked me to be your girlfriend. I do not know what started that change, but I do hope it was a good reason. It did not last long, and you wanted a break. Should that have been a sign for me? Was it something that I should have noticed? I did not catch on to the hints if they were.

However, we got back together. It started out nice. Yet, we never really went on a date, unless you count the time when we went roller skating on New Years to get away from our families. I fell in love with you, but did you share the same feeling? How could I know for sure?

But...

Everything started to go downhill. After we spent Christmas with your family, how did it all change? What happened?

Your family never liked me, and we both knew that. You would not listen, or did you listen? I never understood. I did not know why or everything they were saying. We would fight often, and you would call me names. You would also tell me about fighting with them, but did you even fight with them? Or did you soak in their judgmental words. I thought I knew you. So, I knew you could not have stood up against them, although you would say you did.

Then, you started isolating me from others.

You made me delete all of my friends who were not family off of my Facebook account. You had my email and password to my account, and you had my password to my phone. I trusted you, but you did not seem to trust me. How did I not notice this?

You took a step further.

You did not want me to talk to any of my friends, who were guys. Also, you hated it if I spoke to my friends if you were not standing there, as well. Even if you was there, you would get mad at me right after they walked away! Why? There was no point in that! You were there, and nothing bad was said! NOTHING!

Another step...

You would constantly be on the phone with me if we were not in person. It was not a text message. You would only text me in class. You had to always call me. I could not get anything done at the house. You did not care. I could only talk to you. I could not doing anything else, without making you mad. The only time we got off the phone is when you had to do something else, with your family. But I couldn't?

You would make me tell you every little thing that I was doing throughout the day. You wanted proof that I was not socializing with anyone. It was not right. I made sure that you knew how much I could be trusted. Did you care?

Then, another step...

You restricted me to my own house. You would get mad and fight with me if you found out I left the house and was not with you. REALLY?! What was the point in that? I was in love, and I never realized how bad you actually made this relationship.

We continued to fight, and you would bring up everything bad that ever happened between every single time. There was no reason for you to tear me down! Yet, you did... Over and over. My self-esteem was finally building before this started, and you destroyed every little ounce of it. Did you ever think about the names that you called me? Or the problems that you would bring up? Or the trickery that you pulled on me? Or even how you would pressure me into doing anything and everything because, "...it was proof that I loved you."?

It all hurt, but I was in love.

One day...

You hurt me more than you have ever realized. You wanted to tell me what the perfect girl looked like. What did you believe was the perfect girl's image? You told me about how you WISHED that I was the perfect girl. What was wrong with me?

You wanted a girl with blonde hair. My hair color was brunette. You wanted a skinny girl who had the imprint of abs. I was on the "chubbier" side of the scale. You wanted a girlfriends who had her belly button pierced. I was terrified of needles. You wanted a girlfriend who was tan. I could never tan. I stayed pale all the time.

Why is the girlfriend that you wanted everything that I was not? Why was I not enough? I was crushed. I felt used and unloved. I felt like I was a lower-life.\

BUT... I did not leave.

The final step...

You told me that you did not want me to talk to a couple of the family members that I LIVED with. That was my own flesh and blood. You did not want me to talk to my father. Well, that was the man who raised. He was the one there for all of my tears. You, also, wanted me to not talk to one of my brothers. He was the closest brother I had. He was my best friend. He was there for me. You did not like either of them! Why?

NO!

That was it! I could not take it, anymore. I was in love with you, but you were not in love with me. You did not want me for who I was. I still love you. You were my first love. I will never forget my first love.

But...

I was never your love...

Now...

I have not actually been in a relationship since this experience in my life. I fear the moment that I will get hurt, again. I fear that someone else will do what you did. I have issues with trusting others because of you. I did not ever imagine that you would do this to me. I will never be the same person that I was. I was broken.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Most abusive relationships are not noticed until it is too late. The relationships that are noticed are never talked about. I know from personal experience that it is hard to get out of a toxic relationship. Abuse is more than just a physical abuse. People face abuse in physical, mental, and emotional forms. I was pressured into doing things because I was in love with him. I was called names and isolated from others. There was never physical markings to show others how bad the relationship was. If you notice something wrong, speak out! Help one another. Help yourself.

If you or someone you know is going through an abusive relationships,contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or you can contact for hearing or deaf impaired 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). You can also contact thehotline.org if you decide that you wish you use the website instead.