Where do I begin? From the middle, the beginning, the end? I honestly do not know. I will just write it as it goes through my mind. This isn't your average story, but its similarities to others may interest you. Last week was suicide awareness week. Many people wrote articles about what suicide is. Basic knowledge that so called doctors state is the reason people that suffer depression want to kill themselves. So many people have been called cowards, wimps, and so many words that should never be said because they wanted to end their life. People just don't want to die for attention. It's not even because of who they are. It is just to stop the pain.
A role model of mine that helped shape the suicide awareness community showed the world that no matter the person, the wealth, the smiles that hide the true feelings away, anyone can be depressed and suicidal.
My story is a simple one. I was a freshman in high school. I was doing extracurricular activities. I was in advanced classes, Boy Scouts, and much more. I over-exerted myself. One day I decided that I really liked a person and asked them out. I started dating them. It became a very serious relationship for someone my age. I didn't understand my body or even how to manage my time with school, my girlfriend, or even my home life.
Around January, things started becoming heated in my mind, and I went on a downward spiral. I don't know what was going through my head but all I knew was that I wanted to end my pain. I snapped one day in February and decided that I needed to rid the world of Christopher Glenn McGehee. I went outside one night and hung myself from a tree, luckily the tree branch snapped and I was saved. I still wanted to die though, looking past the obvious sign that it wasn't my time to go. I was admitted into the mental hospital at Metroplex, known as The Pavilion. I acted and hid my true self from the doctors. Acted as the puppet I needed to be to get out of the dreadful place. I was set free a week and a half after admittance. A few months flew by and I tried killing myself again. I was then admitted to the NIX in San Antonio. I was there for a week. I was put on the right meds and was on my way. Still, I didnt know who I was, what my purpose was.
When I came back to school, things started changing for the better. My head football coach, Jimmy Randolph, would ask me everyday no matter what was going on if I was okay, if my day was going alright, or if I'd like to talk to him about anything. He impacted me as a human being that truly cared for me. I knew he was a Christian and I wanted to be one, too. I started going to church, started getting more involved, and then one day I knew it was my time to become a follower of Jesus Christ. Not even a year after my suicidal tendencies, I was baptized in the name of the Lord, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. October 21, 2012, I became who I was supposed to be.
Suicide will always be a touchy subject, but don't put someone down because they are suicidal. Lift them up and help them in any way possible. Show them why life is worth livng. Share a helping hand. I know it may not seem like much, but every little thing helps a person that is in need.
