Socially accepted, yet negatively stereotyped, divorce is obviously not an ideal or desired situation for anyone; however, the outcomes my parent's divorce had on me were really beneficial and I would not be the same person I am today had my parents stayed together. Being a child of divorce really isn't so bad after all, if only you really look into what you can take away from your circumstances. See, trees don't just collapse when storms come; they form deeper roots to be able to withstand the intense pulls from the powerful storm, so they can survive. Trees cope and adapt to their circumstances, just like we do, as humans, whether we realize it or not.

My parents got divorced when I was 3-years-old, so it was always my norm. As I got older, I definitely faced some hardships most kids don't have to face, like making sure you have everything you need before you get to the other house, or hearing your parents yell and argue about their time with you. Through the tears, forgotten items and split holidays, I am still thankful for my childhood with divorced parents. For one thing, you get double the presents for birthdays, Christmas, etc. Who wouldn't like that?

Yes, my parents did argue and yell over who gets me when and put me in the middle of almost all of their arguments, but it's all because they both loved me so much they wanted to fight for me. I mean, really fight for me. I became needy for their words of affirmation to reassure me that everything was OK because I lived in a constant state of change. I became intentional with other people - letting them know how much I appreciated them, because I knew what it felt like to be unsure. Their fighting wasn't necessarily the dislike for each other, but the craving to see me more. I didn't realize this then, but I definitely know it now.

I had to keep up with two sets of rules, and make sure I spent equal time with each of them. I got quality time with both parents individually that allowed me to build strong relationships with each of them. I got to experience two different types of parenting, to help me gain more perspective and knowledge about how to parent my own kids in the future. I didn't realize this then, but I definitely understand it now.

I had to plan for the rest of the week and remember to pack things I would need. I would almost always forget at least one thing. I also always made it an inconvenience for my parents, and this would cause some type of argument and me feeling guilty for what I had done. I started to become compassionate for others. I wanted to be considerate of how my actions impacted others. This also taught me how to organize myself - what will work and what will not. I never would have considered this then, but I am sure of it now.

During the storms, I took deeper roots. But, see, roots won't grow deeper and then go back to where they were. No, deeper roots keep you anchored and stable, because deeper roots are a product of growth. Divorce helped me grow. I learned how to get myself through the hard stuff. It made me independent.

So, I want you to know that it's going to be OK, first of all. Second, know that this is not your fault, and your parents love you more than they could ever express. Without even trying to, you will take deeper roots through your storms, you will grow from them, and you will be changed for the better because of it.