At some point in your life, you've heard about bullying. Your guidance counselor has come to your class, or you've attended an assembly about it. It's all the same cliche speech; "Treat others the way you want to be treated." I'm not going to sugarcoat it; it's all bullshit. The sad truth about bullying is that it does happen all too often, but is hardly ever acted upon. According to "Pacer.org," 1 in out of every 4 children report to being bullied during the school year. I was also a victim of bullying for three long years. What's considered a "silent" issue in society can have lasting, if not permanent, effects on a child.
When I was in middle school, I realized the "friends" I had didn't act like friends, as well as being two other girls' victim. I was called names, ganged up on, gossiped about, and manipulated. My parents became beyond frustrated and wondered what their child had done to deserve such treatment, especially when the incidents were reported and nobody seemed to take action, or even care.
Even though bullying is extremely real, no one ever wants to address it. It's so easy for teachers and parents to let it pass by and state that "kids will be kids," or your child should just "stop being so sensitive." Or, the problem is being witnessed, but nobody wants to get involved. This leads to a bystander effect, which can be just as bad as being the bully.
Cyberbullying has also become a big issue in society and is now more common than "in person" bullying. Referring back to "Pacer," 90% of teens who have been bullied online also have been bullied in school. With technology and social media, it's so easy for someone to sit behind a computer screen or hold a smart phone and type away something nasty you probably wouldn't say to someone's face.
According to ABC News and "Bullyingstatistics.org," 160,000 children every day miss school out of fear of being bullied, which takes a toll on their education. Children who are also seen as "different" are also much more likely to be victimized. 82% of students who identify as LGBTQ have been bullied in the last year, as well as 40% of children with Austism, and 1 out of 3 for their race. This is extremely saddening, as schools are places where children should feel safe, wanting to learn and enrich themselves. However, with these rather high statistics, it's very unlikely.
Children who suffer from bullying also have an extreme decrease in self-esteem. "Pacer" states that students who are bullied have decreased academic performances, are more likely to develop depression and anxiety, and have a much higher risk of committing crimes later on in life. Seung-Hui Cho, also known as the man who was responsible for the Virginia Tech shooting in 2007, was picked on his entire life. According to "Biography.com," Cho displayed many signs of what were lasting effects of being victimized and ended up taking out his psychotic anger on others. (Just to clarify, I AM NOT justifying these actions at all, whatsoever, just trying to make a point.)
Finally, one of the most heart-wrenching effects bullying can have on children is suicide. The documentary, "Bully," tells the story of the Smalley family of Perkins, Oklahoma, who lost their son Ty at only eleven years old. This is enraging, as Ty tried defending himself by retaliating against the bully, but ended up being victim-blamed and suspended from school. A child so young felt so lost and hopeless that he felt the only way out was taking his own life.
This is an issue that gets under my skin, specifically because everyone loves to "talk the talk," but not "walk the walk." These "anti-bullying programs" in schools only have a 25% effective rate, if that (Pacer). Both of my middle schools were famous for this; they loved to portray that there were no harassment problems in their systems, but when an issue came up, it was either denied or ignored.
We have to protect our children. Every child should be treated equally, and their ability to get an education should not be affected. I am a firm believer that children are the future, and how they experience life right now determines the impact they will have on society. It breaks my heart knowing there are kids who would rather take their own lives than be who they are.
If you or someone you know has been affected by bullying, you're better than what anyone else has to say about you. If you have to make changes to end your harassment, do it (DO NOT resort to violence or sink to a bully's level). Stand up for those who are too scared to speak up, those who have been silenced, and become one who will never be silenced again.
For more information, please take the time to watch "Bully," "Cyberbully," and "The Bully Project." Please visit "standforthesilent.org" to learn more about Ty Smalley, as well as other children who've committed suicide due to bullying. October is Bullying Awareness Month, and for parental support, please visit "Pacer.org." Stop the hate today.
