As college students, we are constantly surrounded by the hookup culture and the familiarity of “talking” to someone. It's something I’ve become numb to it. I haven’t questioned it. Until now.
The mindless, noncommittal hookups are both degrading and exhausting. I am tired of avoiding eye contact with boys at parties, so they will not talk to me and expect more. I am tired of being weary and of questioning why this guy wants to talk to me. I am tired of rejecting boys when they try to kiss me as if we had not met 10 minutes before. I recognize that there are some great guys out there who have genuine intentions. Unfortunately, I do not generally meet this type of guy.
I cannot be the only one who feels this way.
If so, why do we continue to participate in this vicious cycle? Do we not want more?
I cannot speak for everyone, but Iwant more.
I don’t want to “talk” to you anymore. I want to date. I want to be taken on dates. Is this too much to ask?
For clarification, when I say dating I don't necessarily mean a committed relationship. I mean good old dating where a girl or guy asks another person to eat a meal with them or to go for a walk downtown or to grab coffee after class. Dating is about getting to know another person and letting someone get to know you. It is about genuine, open conversation. It asks that we be vulnerable and open to another human being.
Yeah, I know. Dating is scary. It is scary to show yourself to someone else, to put your guard down, to give someone the ability to hurt you. However, is it that scary? Better question: does the fear of failure outweigh the positives of dating?
Personally, the potential positives always outweigh my fear. I know it takes a lot of time and a lot of trial and error. Not every first date is extraordinary. Not every guy is prince charming. Rejection is real. Sometimes we do not have chemistry. That's OK. However, I know love it out there. I witness it every day. I believe in the magic of falling for someone and in the power of love. I think you have to put yourself out there to find that love. You have to be vulnerable. You have to take risks. That's the way it works.
Dating requires maturity and self-awareness. How can you expect someone to get to know you when you do not know yourself? You have to be comfortable with yourself. You have to be willing to trust and be trustworthy.
Do not let your fears keep you from taking a chance and getting to know someone.
I'll leave you with these two quotes:
1. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" - "A Cinderella Story"
2. "Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it" - "We Bought A Zoo"
