According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word "perfect" can be defined as the following: having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be. Then the term is used in a sentence for clarification for the reader. The sentence read, “She strove to be the perfect wife.” This sentence made me laugh for a couple of reasons. The inner feminist inside of me whines and complains that of course they use the “wife” image in the sentence and they think that all women worry about is being the perfect wife. But that is not what this article is about and that is another issue. The second thought I had about this sentence was about the actions she was doing to be the perfect wife. What does it truly mean to be perfect? And why does she want to be perfect? Today, many women won’t admit it, but let’s be honest, we want perfection in every aspect of our lives. We all have our own definition and our own version, but it is still at a standard and it is perfection. We want the perfect man, the perfect career, the perfect family and the perfect body. We will go to extreme measures to see ourselves and our lives at the level of perfect. I am not for sure where the idea of perfection comes from or who holds it. We see on the TV our idea of the perfect lifestyle, or maybe you work with the woman who to you seems perfect. You whisper to your friends saying how perfect she seems and how you would do anything to have her perfect lifestyle. We see others and create this idea of what it means to be perfect. Now I am not going to tell you to love your life and be thankful, even though you should. You don’t need to read another article to empower your own life, that’s something you have to do on your own. I just want to share my story of why I banned perfect from my vocabulary and hopefully show you that being perfect isn’t all worth it.

I have been aiming for perfection for as long as I can remember. My mom used to call me “just so Sammie” because I would work myself up if one thing wasn’t perfect and would whine until it was at my level of perfection. I eventually outgrew the tantrums, but still strived for the idea of perfection while growing up. When I was in high school, I had the issue that many teenage girls struggle with and I was constantly comparing myself to others. I worried about my size and weight compared to other girls, and I worried about my school work compared to other class members. I was reminding myself that if it wasn’t going to be perfect, then why do it at all? This attitude was easy to hide and I struggled internally while seeing myself as never being good enough. In high school, I was lucky and was surrounded with an amazing friends and family. I was captain of the softball team, president of student council, an active member of FCA and sang in the choir while maintaining a decent GPA. I had teachers and friends constantly tell me that I had the perfect life. At the time, I was flattered and proud that people saw me as perfect. Little did I know that it added more stress to my life, and I became obsessed with maintaining this image of being perfect.

When I started gaining weight, my face became consumed with acne and my GPA wasn’t a 4.0, I began to panic. I became consumed in the idea of being perfect in others eyes. I didn’t want people to think that I didn’t have every part of my life together. I hid my flaws as I continued through high school. I struggled during high school with perfectionism and the idea of having it all. I didn’t really appreciate that things didn’t have to be perfect and maybe things were perfect the way they already were. As I approached college, I wondered if this issue and perfectionism would follow me. My freshman year was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I was able to start fresh and I met people that changed my outlook on what perfection meant. I soon realized that college is a lot tougher than high school. I was busy with being a division three athlete while also managing school. I needed sleep and started realizing around 2 a.m. that my perfect work from high school would take too long for this assignment that was due at 8 a.m. It was a reflecting year and I am thankful for the lessons I learned. Not only did this experience help me with school, but also with how I looked. My parents reminded me of how beautiful I was for years, but for some reason I didn’t want to believe them. I wasn’t a size two and reminded myself that maybe next year I would move up a cup size. My face still had the dreadful acne and I still didn’t have the thigh gap that other girls seemed to master. I looked to the media and wished for their bodies and for mine to look similar. This will be something I will always struggle with, but as cheesy as it sounds I began to feel more comfortable with who I was. It took a special on Marilyn Monroe to help me realize that maybe perfect wasn’t the best thing. Here was a woman who was perfect in my eyes. She was gorgeous, had an amazing career and could have any man she wanted. After realizing the problems she faced and how she struggled herself with the idea of maintaining a perfect life, I decided I didn’t want that for myself. She wasn’t perfect, but I was okay with that because I wasn’t either. Why do we hold each other to this level of being perfect when all it does is add stress? We don’t truly know each other’s lives, because we only show the perfect parts and hide the bad. This is an issue we all struggle with and we need to be more accepting of flaws and realize that perfection is unrealistic.

For a long time I wasn’t happy with anything less than perfect. So after some time spent reflecting on what it means to be perfect, let me share with you the reasons I stopped using the word perfect for my own life and to describe others. While in college, I stopped worrying about my paper or assignment being the most absolute perfect thing I had ever created, and started focusing on learning, exploring and doing my best work. I didn’t have time to spend hours on a paper because I had softball practice and wanted to see my friends. I am not advocating doing a shitty job so you can party, I am saying that school is important and you should spend time doing your best work, but also enjoy life and set aside some time for yourself. You don’t want to look back and realize that all you did was sit in the library and stress yourself out. Trust me, it’s not worth it. My own looks and body image are always a tough subject, but each day I find another thing I really do love about me. Sure, go ahead and wish for the Kim Kardashian body, but remember she pays a lot of money for a trainer to keep her looking like that. We all have flaws and we wish things were different. Stay healthy and change if you want, but remember that there are parts of you that other people wish they had. We all have scars, marks, or bumps that we want to hide. This is all a part of being human, and it shows that you are living. Your body is your home and no one lives in a perfect home. It will take time, but eventually you can see your own beauty as being perfect the way it is. This leads me to my last point. I stopped using the word perfect to describe myself and to describe others. I have seen firsthand that calling someone perfect really isn’t a compliment. They feel pressured to remain perfect and feel the need to hide the parts of them that aren’t flawless. So I challenge everyone to stop using this term and find a replacement. Maybe being perfect isn’t what we should strive for, and instead look for happiness. I hope that this story has showed you that maybe perfect isn’t the best thing for you. You deserve the very best life, so stop worrying about how perfect other people see you and enjoy the life you have. I’m sure it already is perfect to someone else.