Dear Hollywood,

Where to begin? We've had such a wonderful relationship, and a lot of great times together! We've laughed. We've cried. We've screamed in terror. We've learned lessons. We've had so much fun, that I didn't ever think it could possibly end. I have to admit, though, that lately the romance seems to be gone in our relationship.

When we first got together I fell in love with you. You turned me on to some of the most endearing movie franchises ever. It was so wonderful to see them for the first time; not knowing what to expect, meeting new and interesting characters, being thrown for a loop by the once new stories.... I look back on those years with such fond memories. Now, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade any of those memories for anything, but I feel like I keep making attempts, and all you do is just keep rehashing the same old tired thing. I admit, sometimes it's fun, but mostly it's just dull. It's gotten to the point that instead of taking a chance and coming up with bold, new stories you're just milking all the old ones for every penny they're worth. I know it's difficult for you. You do need to earn money. It is a business after all. But you've lost all the passion you used to have! Where's the Hollywood I fell in love with?

I don't want to be a nag, but after so many missed opportunities and wasted talent I'm afraid I'm going to have to call it quits. I'd tell you “it's not you, it's me,” but it's definitely you. It may hurt you to hear that, or it may not. I'm not certain. You've been so dead to me. All I know is that you're more in love with money now than you are with me. I will not compete with that. I don't think I ask for much. All I ever wanted was a little effort. It's not easy for me to leave you, but you leave me no choice. I wish you the best, and I hope and pray that before the end you see what is really important about the film industry. I hope you can learn to love again — to be bold and strike out in new directions again.

Love,
Ray

P.S. I don't know if you've noticed, but you've developed more of a potty mouth in recent years. You're kind of a pervert too.