Last summer when I was a camp counselor, a camper of mine came up to me and said, “I want to be you; when I grow up, I want to be exactly like you.”

I tell this story because it hit me hard and made me realize a lot. When she told me that, my heart sank for several different reasons. One being that for so long I had spent so much time wishing I were anyone but me, and I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea that anyone would want to be me or why.

The second being because she reminded me so much of myself and my friends at that age. I didn’t like myself when I was her age and I wished she wouldn’t have to feel the same way.

The third being, despite all the self-confidence I had gained in the past six years, the initial response to pop up in my head was, “No, you don’t” and that was hard.

When she told me this, I wondered how many of the girls I had wished to be had also been wishing to be someone else. I wondered how many of the people who seemed to have it all together didn’t have much together at all.

I have realized we are truly our own worst critics. We focus so much on everything we aren’t rather than everything we are. We want to be the people who seem to have it all, but who are really struggling just as much as everyone else. The truth is, no one has it all. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and although some we can change, some are just part of who we are.

So please, stop being so hard on yourself. Stop wishing you were someone else. Stop focusing on everything you aren’t and can’t be. The bottom line is no matter how hard you wish to be someone else, or be like someone else, you never will be, so learn to like yourself. Learn to love yourself. There may come a time when you seem to be the only thing you have, so make sure you are happy with that, and like the person you are. Learn to accept yourself. Learn to be happy with who you are. Learn to be proud of who you are.