Sometimes I’m bothered by all of the love stories we fill our lives with—all of the books, movies, stories of other people, etc etc. I’m not a cynic, all of the time, but I do think we need to stop promoting this idea that we are all in some holding cell waiting for someone to love us.

Ladies and guys, stop waiting for someone to love you. Stop waiting for someone to enchant your soul. Seriously. Stop. If it happens, that’s wonderful and something worth treasuring, but life is happening while you’re waiting. While I’m waiting.

I know we all do it. We watch movies and think, I really wish someone loved me like that. OR we get really angry and thin, “Gah. Love doesn’t exist.” But even though I too have had my heart broken, I just can’t buy into the mentality that love doesn’t exist. Maybe it’s not the love you’re looking for, but I have known love to be too real to deny it exists.

I have such wonderful friends who are as close to my heart as sisters. Love does exist. I have been to countries and met people who have completely stolen my heart in a way that romance never could. Love does exist. I have walked through nature just to feel the wind and hear the birds sing. I have stopped to listen to the water in a brook and smell the dirt beneath me on a warm spring day. Love does exist. My parents have driven thousands of miles to come get me from school or surprise me by coming to my plays or posted silly videos on my facebook wall that reminded them of me. Love does exist.

Stop sitting around waiting for someone to love you the way you think they should. You’re missing out on so much love that could make your heart so full by wanting only one type of love that would leave the rest empty. I partially blame the English language for this because we only have one word for love.

The Greeks have 4 different words for love to show the different types. There’s Agape which is the unconditional kind that we experience between God and should show to all people, but we suck at that much of the time. There’s Storge love which is family love. There’s Phileo love which tends more toward brotherly love. Then there’s Eros love which is more romantic and sexual love.

We’re always pursuing eros love which is only 25 percent of the love available to us. When we focus so much on trying to find this type of love or we become bitter at this type of love and say “love” doesn’t exist, we’re denying us and those around us 75% of all love. By saturating yourself in this desire for romantic affection, you are missing out on three-fourths of the love that is being offered to you.

I know pain is real and heartbreak is real. Trust me, I know. But we keep writing all of these feel good stories and articles on how to handle life while you’re waiting for that special someone. What if instead of focusing all of our energy on how to cope with life until someone sweeps you away into a Disney quality love story, live your life and make it one for the books. Show love to people who have nothing. Leave a legacy of love everywhere you go. Make your friends family. Smile at the people you walk past. But stop acting like life is some painful purgatory until you can find the missing romance from your life.

This life is beautiful and can be felt so deeply. There is so much value to be experienced and given if you would stop focusing on what’s missing and open your eyes to the wonderful things already present.